under-estimated

my new desktop

2010-08-12T23:54:00.000+08:00

8th A. REPC day 2

2009-11-30T18:36:00.001+08:00

Love.

2009-10-26T23:02:00.002+08:00

Others say, the more you care about someone, the stronger your feelings will be towards that person; be it happiness, sadness or disappointment.

I finally understood what it actually meant.

Cos we did this to one and other. and we were all hurt by what we did.

I am thankful. Very.

2009-10-23T19:54:00.004+08:00

I'm thankful for all that has happened today.

First.
To Steph, thank you for the crazy walk around NP to settle my timetable.

Second.
To Mrs. Doris Tan (of MDE), thank you for clearing those doubts.

Third.
To Mr. Yong KS (of MDE), thank you for allowing the swap.

Fourth.
To Ms. Wong WH (of MDE), thank you for going through all the trouble to answer my questions, clear my doubts, going the extra mile to send the email and help me get my DPP. You are truly a class advisor.

Fifth.
To the 'i-really-dno-her-name' lady (from the School of IS's office), thank you for trying to be patient in understanding my problem and refering me to your other colleague.

Sixth.
To the 'i-really-dno-his-name' guy (from the School of IS's office), thank you for being so understanding and patient to listen to what I have to say and trying your best to help me out.

Seventh.
To Lingli, thank you for accompanying me to get that heavy newspaper and the bus ride to where I had to leave you.

Eighth.
To John (from NHSC), thank you for dragging me right back to NH. If it wasn't for you, the things mentioned below wouldn't have happened.

Ninth.
To my lovely friends, thank you for brightening up my 4-hr break with all the FB spamming.

Lastly.
To my adoptive mummy, thank you for the acknowledgement.

Gawd. If only this was everyday.

Fingers crossed.

2009-10-16T21:50:00.002+08:00

I consider myself lucky, got the chance to accompany my grandmother on her wet-market trip and to learn that awesome awesome dish.

I hope it'll be successful.

A busy day tomorrow.

2009-10-15T19:13:00.002+08:00

It was an anniversary to be remembered. The surprise was nearly ruined by the old man himself. Nevertheless, things went out fine. A great way to end a beautiful day.
- October 10th, 2009

I love you, like that way you love me.

2009-10-10T12:09:00.005+08:00

All human beings seem to have a problem, be it a male or a female; a toddler or an elderly. It is that they will always be discontented with whatever they own or have; in other words, we always ask for nothing, but more, more than what we each can possibly take. For the past 7 weeks, I stumbled upon a true story.
And this was what the girl had so very much wanted to say to her mama then… …

Dear Mama

Sometimes there are just so many things that I don’t understand. But I do know one thing for sure, that is Mama works hard for the family, while Papa provides money. Mama’s poor hands are old and wrinkled, from the many years of household chores. Mama has to look after the younger children at home, Mama is really busy.

The comment on folding the clothes was merely meant to as a suggestion, a suggestion to ease and simplify the many ways to fold clothes. If things were standardized, jobs would be much easier and taking less time to complete. Shouldn’t that be a good thing? However, the heartfelt words were taken as a form or condemn. These innocent sentences were made to sound hurtful and mean to the latter.

I had wanted Mama to spend some time with me during my holidays, but the younger children have taken Mama away from me. I understand that Mama is very needed by the younger children, so I don’t complain and wait for my turn. While I can see that Mama is busy, I try to help and be a nice kid.

Many say that I am a really good child; some say I’m sensible, helpful, while others say I’m caring and understanding. But Mama doesn’t think so. I will have to agree that I do not bother to wake up early, and that I like to spend time with the internet. I don’t see why I have to get up early, after all, it’s the holidays and there is nothing much to do.

I did work a bit of part time to earn a little pocket money, and when I don’t have enough to go by; I’ll just have to bit my own tongue. When I have extra money, they are used to buy some food for the family. I do try to do some housework, and I do what I do best – that is to clean the floor. But Mama complains that I do it in the evening.

I don’t like folding the clothes, so I do really little of it, once or twice during the holidays. And I get blamed for not helping with something I don’t like to do. I do wash the dishes on my own accord; I should say this is one of those rare times where I actually help with dishes more than just once or twice. I’ve been washing dishes quite a lot, much more than the previous holidays. I should say I have improved by quite a handful, but Mama says that I haven’t been unwilling in doing so.

Mama complains that I don’t shower the dog often, and now Mama wants me to do so twice a week. Mama is angry that I don’t bother about the dog. But I am the one who initiates and decides to budge Papa when to bring the dog for walks. I can’t handle the dog alone, when he’s outside – he gets really crazy. And now it’s my fault that the dog stinky or unhygienic. All these while, the dog used to be Papa’s job, ever since I’ve started showering for that very one time; it has now become my responsibility. I try not to complain, because I love my dog.

Mama says I do not help around the house. Mama says I know nothing to help around the house. I had wanted to volunteer to do some cooking and ironing. But Mama says that I can only wreck the kitchen and waste more electricity if I were to iron the clothes.

Mama says I do not contribute to the household. But I do. I really do. I come up with suggestions and decisions to help Mama decide where to go, how to plan her time, what to cook, what to do and what not. I do try to help Mama mentally. Look at what it for lunch today, didn’t I help to second and support Mama’s idea?

Sometimes I go the extra mile to fetch the younger children to tuition and back. And even, look after my kid cousin. The entire September holiday was dedicated to the kid cousin, because Mama had no time to look after him, in view of the younger children’s national exams.

Mama, I wished we could stop all these. I understand that Mama is very stressed up over the national exams. But try to calm down and take things easy, one at a time. We haven’t fought in a long while; we don’t need this again, because I love you, like the way you love me.

Love
Your daughter

2009-10-06T11:35:00.004+08:00

what's the use of being the good girl when it all comes back to zero?

i'm feel so bad when i ignore mummy. i don't bother to clean the house, send her to the door, or whatever. it's just that the daily routine has been washed away (for now).
and when i want to try to make it up or break the ice by talking to her, she pushes me away. it drives me nuts really.

i want to stay away from all these rubbish. but daddy told me to just hang in there.

eh, hello? my good intentions were trashed and now i'm put up in a situation.
you call this family crisis?

dang it.

2009-10-06T11:34:00.001+08:00

Monday October the Fifth

2009-10-05T15:32:00.002+08:00

It was a purely innocent comment. I just said what I felt, which was purely harmless and there was definitely no personal attacks involved.

The comment was read in a wrong way, however, was made to seem like some fault-finding issue. Surely the suggestion, to standardize how clothes are being folded, should be a good thing, for now trouble can be minimized, effort is now easier and time taken to get the job done can be reduced, right?

No, no. It was not read this way. The comment was taken personally, and a cold war has just broke out.

Chill babe, now you need more time to get the air cleared.

Saturday October the Third

2009-10-05T15:30:00.001+08:00

I woke up at 9 (with only 8 hours of sleep since the day before). We left house at 9.30 to have breakfast with grandpa and gujie’s family. My little cousin was very siangmeng that morning, and there was a tinge of upcoming tantrum, luckily gujie had it all under control.

We went to visit grandma at the columbarium. The place is still under construction but it’s almost as good as a 5-star hotel. I mean the environment was as good as that of a library, except for the fact that there aren’t any computer terminals or book loaning stations. Sofas, coffee tables, carpets and water dispensing units were located abundantly.
It kinda came back to square one, once we saw grandma’s photo. Teary eyes and slight sobbing were all in the package. I had no idea why I wasn’t crying or anything.

My thoughts went back to the final month of my grandma’s life. I pictured all that happened in the final month; the endless hospital visits right after school, the drowsy days caused by morphine, loss of appetite, the late taxi nights and all. It was all sad. Then it came to the final day. I was not there in the morning, but I went to the hospital in the afternoon (once I was done with my council camp meeting). Time drew nearer to the point of death. In any case I was still carrying the torch of hope that my grandma would be able to sit upright and be with us once she was being sent back home. I was not there at that point when my grandma drew her last breath. I remembered arriving just 2 or 3 minutes later, with my sisters and my cousin. And then, it all went past like a dream. The wake, the funeral, the 49days of vegetarian diet and chanting, the weekly scriptural readings for 7weeks running and having lunch and dinner together as a family, made the family stronger than ever. We were bonded even more through my grandma’s passing and we understood the true meaning of unity. Now the main focus of the family is grandpa, he’s of the most importance and the family is making sure that he does not go right back to his emotional stupor.

We stayed around for about one hour or so, and I got home to help with some housework before heading out with daddy and erjie.

The highlight of the father-and-daughter trip was that I was mistaken as my dad’s girlfriend. So there were actually three possibilities.
Number one, I must be looking so much older than I really am, if so, it’s time I have to start doing facials or wear more sesame street tees.
Number two, dad’s the young one, and he’ll have to start dressing more like a man of his age.
Lastly (like what daddy had said) the guy, who mistook our identities, has something stuck (real bad) to his eyes. Mum was hysterical when she heard about this.

We had dinner over at grandpa’s and the night ended with mooncakes and a round of fire sparklers.

Friday October the Second

2009-10-05T13:42:00.002+08:00

I attended the magazine meeting in the morning. The results of the meeting proved to be a good one, since the template and (almost) the entire layout of the magazine has somewhat been confirmed. The meeting ended promptly at 12noon, and I headed straight down to work.

Work was tiring, but it was awfully fun. Filling up empty containers and labelling the mini sample tubs, plus, a chance to try out a mask! Dinner was at about 5 in the evening with my two lovely bosses, after which I headed down to SingPost to send some registered mail. Finished work at 6 and headed right down to NH to meet my dear little friends and their mums. 8 kids (with 1 more on the way) was much fun. It has been long since I’ve played with younger children. They have so much energy and enthusiasm to run all over the place. It was a really nice and the standard experience for every mid-autumn was that I am acknowledged as ‘the daughter’ for the 3 hours (or so) in NH. And to end it all, I (finally) got a cab ride to the MRT. This was when I realised that it has been a long time since I’ve taken a cab with her. Ha.

I got home at about 11, which was the latest time in the past year or so. I amazed myself with my liking towards young children that day and I hope to get another chance to do this again soon.

i just fell in love...

2009-09-27T13:35:00.001+08:00

with this.

truth is.

2009-09-21T16:45:00.002+08:00

Was it over-confidence or was it 'sleeping during examination'?

How is it possible to just barely scrap through something that you're confident of?

Teng has yet again proved to the rest, that she's nothing, but a failure.

The past two days had been such a torture, thinking of her own mess and trying to accept the fact that she's just failed those who've had faith in her again.
Parents did not reprimand. They tried to encourage and make her feel better by bringing her out and getting her new shoes. This kind gesture made her felt worse.

She wants to get back and stand on her own feet again. But the recurring thought of screwing up the GPA, with her own hands, has been more than just terrible.

She had badly wanted to help her cousin with sensible suggestions, but she can't even maintain her own GPA. Who is she to comment?

Teng's really tired. If only there was something she can do.

She wants her laptop back. She wants to get out of the house, go somewhere and get something done. But all she can do now, is to be stuck at home in no mood to do anything.

Even typing this short para is a problem.

i'm a disappointment myself.

2009-09-18T23:04:00.001+08:00

It's just a grade. This one grade affected her the entire day. She spoke no more than 20 sentences today. She was in no mood to eat.

A terrible terrible feeling.

She doesn't think that all the grades were fair, especially the grades for the elective and the core module.

She still fears, breaking the news of such uneventful news to her parents. It just hurts to know that she's disappointed them again (and again).

What should she do?

The household chore machine.

2009-09-13T21:49:00.000+08:00

Teng's Power Sunday.

Skimmed through the morning papers. Immersed in the 5th HP book. Lunched.

Powered Sunday started.

Swept the floor while changing the bedsheets. (sometimes multi-tasking does work for me)
Mopped the floor.
Showered the dog.
Showered myself.

Totally drained. I looked like some on-the-lose lunatic when I was done with the dog.

Laptop's gone for servicing, a good and a bad. Mummy's super happy, cos I don't get a chance to hide in the room. But the bad? Loads. I miss iTunes. I miss my massive chunk of songs. No more long hours on FB either. I can still use my desktop thou, but the desktop doesn't have this and that, lousy. Those software not so up-to-date.

Most important of all, I have problem using XP. I'm the one lagging, not the desktop.

HP! Quick, I'm waiting for your call!

This week must play all that I can, before I get 'grounded' on Friday, when the results are out.

*Teng prays hard, super hard.

2009-09-11T15:37:00.000+08:00

I don't know what to do if my GPA doesn't go up this semester.

I would probably have to bear with all the '$#@!%&!@#*@#!'s and my own guilt.

And the fate of my DPP is really at stake. Shit.

TELL HER WHAT TO DO NOW BABE!

what a holiday.

2009-09-09T20:35:00.001+08:00

Teng's ex-neighbours are so freaking "nice". Just anyoldhow rent out their flat to some crazy foreign workers (not bangladeshes). So now, she's got 10 over weirdo men living right along the corridoors. They drink beer and smoke at night, hogging the only passage way to her house. The spices they use in their cookings (she just can't understand why their spices so resemble urine) proliferates the entire floor. It's crazy. Stinking business.

She apologizes to her BFFs.

It's not that she doesn't wish to join on outings or movies or blah, it's just that she really does not wish to let her parents get all jittery over the frequency of her outings, what-time-homes and wadsoeva.

Teng's getting sick of being stuck in between the Team and her family.

Maybe she should just stop suggesting outings. She's such a let-down, asking the Team out, and then she has to rush off to go home just as they're in the middle of something. Just bear with her. She's real sorry.

Argh.

Dad's really getting on her nerves. She really cannot understand why he's feeling-less, like some cold hard rock positioned on the sofa. Everything Teng suggests, or wants to do, he'll counter it back with a "It's not significant right?". Why must he be so encouraging?

She wants next week to come. When next week comes, she can arrange for movies, back to NH sessions and everything.
She suddenly has this urge for school to reopen and start having lessons. She isn't enjoying her holidays right now.

Bad news. Teng realized that she was cheated after yesterday's (grad magazine) meeting at school. An email was sent to her before the exams, asking for students to join the committee. It was stated that this magazine involvement would only be during the holiday period. And then during the meeting, it was announced that this grad magazine committee was going to be a LONG-TERM involvement. WTH. Imagine what happens when her dad gets to know abou this. It's definitely another hot issue that's gonna fire up at home. Shit. Look at all the rubbish she's got herself into. Everything is still her fault.

Damnnit. Adults think that they can cheat people like us. We are not little kiddes that turn right when we are asked to, go left when we urged to.

Teng is not idiot. The next grown-up that tries to cheat her into something, she's definitely going to get back at that person. All this has got to come to a stop.

She's damn pissed off right now. Can't imagine how to tell the guys later during the mass conversation.

ARGH!

2009-09-08T15:11:00.001+08:00

If there's a place that you wish to go, to spend your time, it wouldn't hurt to frequent that special place a little more.

If there are some people you wish to spend time with, it wouldn't hurt to spend more time with them, especially when you're on holiday.

Everything's gonna end after this holiday. Teng's gonna have a super packed and busy schedule.
And when that time comes, you wouldn't even be able to visit that special someone or that special place again.
(No, Teng hasn't got a BF, for heaven's sake. She's talking about something else here. Other issues.)

Why not do it while you can?

So what's the big deal about involvements? Just things be. Teng still hasn't forget about priorities, honey. Don't worry.

You won't lose your kid to someone else. She's yours to keep anyway.

Just chill, alrights?

2009-09-05T20:03:00.000+08:00

Wait Teng, before you sleep. Look what the book says:

父母呼应勿缓
If your parents call you, answer them right away.
父母命行勿懒
When they command you to do something, do it quickly.
父母叫须敬听
When you parents instruct you, listen respectfully.
父母责须顺承
When you parents reapproach you, obey and accept their scolding; try hard to change and improve yourself and start anew.

SO I'LL HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING THEY SAY. AND BE A DADDY'S GIRL OR A MUMMY'S GIRL.

亲有过谏使更
When your parents do wrong, urge them to change.
怡吾色柔吾声
Do it with a kind facial expression, and a warm gentle voice.
谏不入悦复谏
If they do not accept your advice, wait till they are in a happier mood before you dissuade them again.
号泣随挞无怨
Followed by crying to make them understand why. If they end up whipping you, do not hold a grudge against them.

SO WHEN THEY DON'T GET WHAT I MEAN, I CRY, HOPING THAT IT'LL TOUCH THEIR HEARTS. BUT NO. I GET BLAMED FOR SHEDDING CROCODILE TEARS. THEN?

THE BOTTOM LINE IS, IT'S STILL YOUR FAULT TENG.

THIS IS THE FACT.

IT WILL NOT CHANGE.

2009-09-05T19:16:00.003+08:00

I should just ignore everything. I don't understand why I seem to have so much conflict with the father recently. He's almost criticizing my every extra activity move.
But I don't see or hear him do that when I'm doing something that helps or involves the family.

I'm not wasting my time when I help the family, but I'm wasting my time when I help someone or somebody who has been also guiding me for 6 years (and counting). This is not fair, totally crap.

What is this.

As if I'm the rebellious kid, but no, he's in charge, he's got the ropes and I'll have to do all that he says to please him, right? Cos he's the dad and I'm the kid. So, I can't do anything I want or wish to.

Stop. You know how sarcastic he is. He's always like that. Army peeps usually talk no feelings, they just trash and they go straight to the point and hurt you (badly) with their words. So, no, I'll never ever end up in the army.

And, things start getting out of hand when people age.

Teng, just go sleep and wash everything out of your head.

2009-09-02T21:02:00.003+08:00

The Edmund Ng Seminar
Venue: The NH staff room, Centre Aisle
Time: 1230 to 1330

Reflections

BGR, Love and Infatuations.
It was more of a match-making session.
There was a cute bear-bear, two lovely ladies and a Dr. (Ed) Love.
Anw, they make my day.

Thank you for the ride to JE Mrt!

2009-08-29T17:47:00.001+08:00

Sometimes you feel weird. You don't know what you want to do. You have no mood to do anything. You feel so helpless that all you can do is to cry. You keep crying. Your eyes are swollen with your tears. The tears won’t stop.

You flinch at the slightest incident. You try your very best to chill off and keep your cool. You want to control the emotion, but not the other way round. You try your very best not to lose your head. But sometimes your loved ones just don’t understand what is going through your complicated body system.

The oestrogens are all over the place, they agitate you and you try, with your utmost ability, to keep your face straight, so that you wouldn’t be mistaken for giving the wrong facial expression. It all turns the other way down, and you get slapped painfully in the arm. The pain surges right up to your brain, you want to react, but you hold things right there. Although a catastrophic disaster was prevented, it had not helped other disasters from occurring.

You just want to be left to your own devices. You want peace and quiet. You want some time and space to cool off. You know that things would be better as long as you’re able to do so. But no, the other party would never allow you to do that. They interfere for no reason. You want to shout, scream and scold that party, and even hurl things at them. But, no, you know you can’t do that and you didn’t. Instead, you take a deep breath and slowly count from one to ten. And there again, you’re classified as rebelling for taking that deep breath.

You feel so helpless. You just want to hide in the room, with soft music in the background, snuggle up with your blanket and cry your heart out. You wish for someone to understand that there’s something making you feel upside down. But no one understands; only the dog does. He is man’s best friend, but he can’t speak. He looks at you and snuggles right up to you, you know that he’s trying to comfort you, but it doesn’t work the same way like when a human tries to comfort you.

You’re aimlessly searching for a way out, amongst all the tissues and tears. You want to get out of this mess soon. But you don’t know what to do, the only thing you can feel now is that it's still painful in the arm.

Houston, we have a problem. We're running low on tissue paper, we might need to get her a towel, or...

Pump her up with ecstasy and make her happy again.

I Don't Understand No Thing.

2009-08-29T11:30:00.000+08:00

It's just a phone.

As usual such shit and heated arguements. I give up.

Fine, Just take all that you want. I'll just stick to my LKK.

U're my senior and I can't be angry with you. I suggest that I work for something by myself also cannot.

What else can I do?

Family.

2009-08-18T16:24:00.002+08:00

2009-08-05T21:25:00.001+08:00

What does it mean?
Should I be on guard?

Mini's first post.

2009-08-01T11:19:00.000+08:00

I'm just trying out the new Mini right now. It's really cute. Awesome stuff. This Mini's on my right, my lappie is on my left. Wow, biggie business here.

Anw, just got home not too long ago. Woke up at 4.45am and left house at 5.45am. The whole family chartered a bus to send the 3 men off for their 9-day China trip.

If anyone was to ask me if I would miss my daddy (right now), I would say no. I just feel as though dad has gone to work, he's working midnight......

So yea, dad should touch down in about an hour (or less). Hope he has fun, while I have fun with his Mini. Hahas.

Teng is super tired.

2009-07-26T14:50:00.000+08:00

Teng's finally upgrading her blog!
By right the chat box can be used already, plus those new tracks!

Quietly crying behind the shades

2009-07-18T13:26:00.003+08:00

It's finally over.

I should do what Jenny said,
"I was always attracted to assholes! You know what I mean, project guys that I thought I could fix? After you left I made a vow to myself to date only fully functional, well adjusted men - no more works is progress, no dirtbags - basically women!"

I mean work, not date.

2009-06-21T10:43:00.003+08:00

Pictures of you - The Last Goodnight

This is the clock upon the wall
This is the story of us all
This is the first sound of a newborn child,
Before he starts to crawl
This is the war that's never won
This is a soldier and his gun
This is the mother waiting by the phone,
Praying for her son

Pictures of you, pictures of me
Hung upon your wall for the world to see
Pictures of you, pictures of me
Remind us all of what we used to be

There is a drug that cures it all
Blocked by the governmental wall
We are the scientists inside the lab,
Just waiting for the call
This earthquake weather has got me shaking inside
I'm high up and dry

Pictures of you, pictures of me
Hung upon your wall for the world to see
Pictures of you, pictures of me
Remind us all of what we used to be

Confess to me, every secret moment
Every stolen promise you believed
Confess to me, all that lies between us
All that lies between you and me

We are the boxers in the ring
We are the bells that never sing
There is a title we can't win no matter
How hard we might swing

Pictures of you, pictures of me
Hung upon your wall for the world to see
Pictures of you, pictures of me
Remind us all of what we could have been

Pictures of you, pictures of me
Hung upon your wall for the world to see
Pictures of you, pictures of me
Remind us all of what we could have been

Pictures of you, pictures of me
Remind us all of what we could have been

I Try - Macy Gray

2009-06-15T23:56:00.003+08:00

I Try - Macy Gray

Games, changes and fears
When will they go from here
When will they stop
I believe that fate has brought us here
And we should be together
But wer,e not
I play it off but I'm dreamin of you
I'll keep it cool but I'm fiendin.
I try to say goodbye and I choke
I try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not near
Goodbye and I choke
I try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it, it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not near

I may appear to be free
But I'm just a prisoner of your love
I may seem alright and smile when you leave
But my smiles are just a front
I play it off but I'm dreamin of you
I'll keep my cool but I'm fiendin
I try to say goodbye and I choke
I try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not near

Here is my confession
May I be your possesion
Boy I need your touch
Your love kisses and such
With all my might I try
But this I can't deny
I play it off but im dreamin of you
I'll keep my cool but I'm fiendin
I try to say good bye and I choke
I try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not near

GIMME A BREAK, for TENG's sake!

2009-06-02T23:20:00.005+08:00

I'm just so afraid that my breakdown day is near. Damn near.

Why? Why? Why? Must lecturers be so god damn heartless? Squeeze everything to the week before common test. It all sounds so nice when the saying goes: "There is NO COMMON TEST for this module, but the week before common test GOT CLASS TEST". What's the difference? And the weightage for class tests are HIGH okay?!

The mental torture to finish up assignments plus the rush to cramp 4 chapters of 2 different modules, into 1 pathetic brain, in less than 3 days, is really too much for me to take. I just feel like letting those scores go. Heck with all the percentages and my GPA.

And before Teng really suffers from this mental breakdown, get me a clone to help settle my room, my mess, my table, my cupboard, my clothes, my drawers! Mum's seriously breathing down my neck, screaming that I take too long in the showers, complaining about the i-still-can-live-with-it mess of MY living quarters! Get me some peace at home, please!!!

What is MY world becoming of?

And what the hell is my dad trying to do? Plan an outing at an unearthly timing of 24 hours before my common test?! Is he seriously joking?!

Can my stress level just drop, so that my period can come? Stop saying that I screaming into everybody's ears alright? This hormonal imbalance is really bringing about much more emotional coasters! HELL!

People, GIMME A BREAK!

STOP ASKING ME QUESTIONS!

STOP ASKING WHY, ALRIGHTS?

GIMME A CHANCE TO ASK WHY?!

Now I really feeling like crying.

Where are you, happy-go-lucky Teng?

2009-05-10T23:51:00.007+08:00

曲名：爱那么重歌手：巫启贤

該不會就此結束

就此分手

愛卻分明還沒到盡頭

會不會難以割捨

欲走還留

我們已堅持太久

是否你沒有把握

而有所保留

我卻為你放棄了自我

是否我給你太快

給你太多

心甘情願犯下的錯

愛那麼重愛那麼痛

給我再多勇氣也沒有用

對你再壞　對你再好

這一切再也不能阻止你逃

愛那麼重　愛那麼痛

給我再多承諾也只是空

如果太苦　把我忘掉

一顆心只求你真的明瞭

該不會就此結束
就此分手
愛卻分明還沒到盡頭
會不會難以割捨
欲走還留
我們已堅持太久

是否你沒有把握
而有所保留
我卻為你放棄了自我
是否我給你太快
給你太多
心甘情願犯下的錯

愛那麼重愛那麼痛
給我再多勇氣也沒有用
對你再壞　對你再好
這一切再也不能阻止你逃

愛那麼重　愛那麼痛
給我再多承諾也只是空
如果太苦　把我忘掉
一顆心只求你真的明瞭

情再深　

也不能改變些什麼

情再濃　

也不能解開這愛的枷鎖

愛那麼重愛那麼痛

給我再多勇氣也沒有用

對你再壞　對你再好

這一切再也不能阻止你逃

愛那麼重　愛那麼痛

給我再多承諾也只是空

如果太苦　把我忘掉

一顆心只求你真的明瞭

如果太苦　把我忘掉
一顆心只求你真的明瞭

An Awesome Thursday. (with many thanks)

2009-03-27T22:25:00.001+08:00

Teng had a great thursday.

Was at NH at 7.10a.m. and saw her (online-cos she didn't get to see him in person for a few years!) friend (Lin Lao Shi-YuHui) and chatted to him for a whole half an hour before she had to get ready for the presentation. She hereby thanks YuHui for updating about himself and yes, the chat managed to cool her nerves ~~somewhat~~.

And she hereby ~~demands~~ asks Mr. Ng to ~~hand over~~ give the photo that he tried to take without her ~~permission~~ notice. But luckily for her she was smart enough to cover her ~~pretty~~ face.

While Mr.Ng was trying out his skills on paparazzi, Mr. Liu (GK) was setting a goal for her. Mr. Liu's goal of a 3.95 GPA, was ~~apparently~~ a much achievable one compared to that of Mr. Ng's idea of having a 4.0 GPA.

Teng contradicted herself while speaking to her audiences, thankfully her audiences could understand what she was talking about. She thanks Mrs. Siew for the mental support and assuring smiles while she was vibrating upfront. The short 5 minutes speech drove her nuts and she couldn't fall asleep the night before. So she only had less than 5 hours of sleep on wednesday night.

Teng exited the AVA room after the presentation and saw quite a few of her long-lost mentors (teachers to be exact) namely, Ms. Wassan, Mr. N Liu, Ms. J Lim, Mrs. A Ong, Ms. Y Lim, Mdm. Yong, Ms. Loy XQ... and her all-time awesome two!

Teng had breakfast with Mr. Liu GK, Mrs. Chang MC and Mrs. J Tan. This was when Mr. Liu GK started off with his very inspirational and motivating talk. It was all about experiences, the need for money and reality.

Then it was the ~~exploition~~ helpout session at the staff room. She helped her dearest teacher run some errands and sorted out a few things, and learnt that age was not a limiting factor to knowing how to use a tablet!

Her dearest teacher showed her a live demo on hair static and indirectly tired to cause harm to her black cells, perhaps her monkey pillow got dirtied in the process. She was also urged to study hard to pull up her GPA.

Teng helped Ms. Loy by unleashing creativity and managed to display Ms. Loy's adorable clips ~~with ease~~, which Ms. Loy was ~~quite~~ happy with. She later went for lunch with Ms. Loy and they had some real cool talk on hairstyling and children.

Afterwhich she went up to the hall to search for her beloved two. There she said her goodbyes and thank yous before ending her NH trip. She knows she'll miss them ~~alot~~, but no doubt, she'll be back soon.

Teng's mum had to meet her to get something important done.

She dosed off on the sofa after a ~~super~~ quick shower until she received ACL's sms. Then she realised that she was ~~confimed~~ almost late for her dinner date. Teng hurried off to change was left her house in 10 minutes.

Her gang of primary friends met her at JP and they had problem deciding what to eat for dinner ~~and finally~~ decided on that restaurant. The gang had a ~~lame~~ fun time while eating. A picture tells a thousand words. Teng will let the pictures do the talking.

The gang went for a free ~~people-watching~~ movie and the basement bench and had a great time trying to understand the true meaning to fashion sense. The foursome supposedly left the ~~theatre~~ bench at 9.10p.m. after ACL was done with her phone call.

Teng had a great thursday.
and hereby thank all who made her thursday the happiest day of the week.

2009-03-23T23:16:00.011+08:00

This year's birthday is the first, that I'm going to be without grandma's red packet. The family still misses her alot, so do I.

But grandma did send me a dream. It was filled with love, warm and care, just like before. I knew it was her. I couldn't have been wrong. I miss her so much too. We're all moving on.

Dealing with death is not easy.

I'm feeling so sorry for grandpa, he should have more company, not just daily TV dosages and weekend chinatown trips. Perhaps I could do more to keep him occupied, since I'm the free one around the house.

Life's perspectives changes when you only have one grandma left, for you'll treasure her even more.

Ocean's (so called) photoshoot

2009-03-23T22:40:00.005+08:00

Speechcraft photos

2009-03-23T22:35:00.001+08:00

2009-01-16T22:38:00.003+08:00

right, the email (is from ms vivi - the organizer of SpeechCraft 2009) below will nearly sum up the wonderful time i had at SpeehCraft 2009. i love the new friends that i've made. i thought it was a really lovely experience.

Dear all,

Last night was truly memorable. The twelve finalists for SpeechCraft 2009 not only impressed with their witty, touching, thought-provoking and inspirational speeches. They also earned our respect.

When they faltered, they didn't just give up - they had the courage to begin all over again. They cheered and consoled each other when kind words were needed. There was true camaraderie between them even though they had just come to know each other for this contest. They showed us that winning is not everything and that they were willing to go all out to LEARN from the whole experience!

Here are the results for SpeechCraft 2009. Please join me in congratulating ALL the students, some of whom you may know!

First place:
Muhammad Danial bin Badron (LSCT)

Second place:
Louis Tay Zhi Hao (ME)

Third place:
Mak Teng Teng (MDE)

Consolation prizes (not in order of merit):
1) Tee Mei Yi (LSCT)
2) Luo Zhong Yuan Bryant (ICT)
3) Yeo Yi Wei Stenphel (ECE)
4) Mageswary d/o Subramaniam (ICT)
5) Alexander Chan Bai Jun (ICT)
6) Adrian Koh Denggui (LSCT)
7) Tan Jun Hao Larry (MDE)
8) Roger Yip Kin Hing (LSCT)
9) Tan Jun Yao Gary (ME)

Special thanks goes out to all of the following people, without whom the event would not have been possible:
Our experienced judges who were unfazed by their daunting task - Elizabeth Thorarajoo (Chief Judge), Mr Tang Teck Chye, Mr Peter Tham - from the Ngee Ann Staff Toastmasters Club - and Mr Ross Krekoski (IS Reading Committee member)

My hardworking co-organisers from the IS Reading Committee - Diana Chee (Co-chair), Ross Krekoski, Aaron Vogt

Dedicated students from the NP Student Toastmasters Club : Bala (Vice-President & Chief Trainer) & Clarice (Trainer & contest official), Richard (President/Judge for SpeechCraft Prelim Round & Trainer), Godwin (Vice-President, Emcee for SpeechCraft Prelim Round), and Wen Chuan (our very entertaining SpeechCraft Final Emcee).

IS support staff who lent a helping hand:
Mr Wong Fook Hiong, who willingly stayed back to help us to record the whole session on video
Maria and Wai Cheng, who helped with the prizes and the certificates

Last but not least, all those who took time off their busy schedules to support the event:
Lecturers who came down to cheer on their students.
Our Deputy Director, Ms Pauline Leong, and,
Director/IS, Ms Jacintha John, who gave away the prizes and sportingly gave a very witty, impromptu speech which she had pieced together using the titles of the students' speeches!

A Big Thank You to All!

Sincerely,
Vivi Yanti Zainol
Chair, IS Reading Committee
School of Interdisciplinary Studies

we had to dress up for this contest. i wore my heels, pants and some long sleeved collar blouse. how i wish i had the pictures that we took last night. i'm waiting for ms vivi's reply via email. yes, i am waiting. ((:

my prepared speech was on "Rules", where i talked about rules at home. i was the first to speak for the prepared speech. it's crazy. i nearly went blank. i was so lucky to have remembered what i've prepared. gosh. first to start off everything! can anyone just imagine?!

i was the last to speak for the impromptu speech, cos i was the first to start for the prepared section. i guess everyone was waiting for me to speak, so that things can be done and get over with, hahas - i was kinda hoping for that too.
my impromptu speech was "My Biggest Worry of the Future is....". i spoke about death, not the death of myself, but the deaths of my loved ones. i spoke about losing my grandma last year. i nearly did lose it when i talked about grandma and the thought of losing my own parents. i ended the speech with "treasure your loved ones, before you really lose them".
one lecturer came to me and said, "it was a very moving and touching speech. i'm very impressed with your courage to speak about death of your loved ones. it was very well done. it nearly moved me to tears. i am so proud of you." i have totally no idea who that lecturer was. but her words seriously made me "lose it". holy mama. the tears just came and couldn't stop. gawd. and the lecturer came up to me and said again, "i'm so sorry, you were fine when you spoke, but after what i've said caused you to.." i didn't really remember what else was said after that, cause i was half trying to control myself and half trying to smile at everyone else. woah, that needed some skills. still i couldn;t beat nature. i had to use tissue paper. uhh. kinda "malu", eww.

all in all, the thing that was most memorable to me, was definitely not the prize. but it was the great friends that i've made and the fact that i managed to speak about my grandma. well, after all the main purpose of why i joined this contest (other than the recommendation of my lecturer) was that i had so badly wanted to "honour" my grandma, by sharing about her life and her passing.

and i guess this is why i'm feeling so relieved and at ease now, for i've managed to do, what i had wanted to do very much.

grandma, i miss you.

2009-01-12T01:16:00.001+08:00

and i wish msy good luck for his results. (at 2pm later!)

i do hope he'll do us proud. at least he should score better than i did.

love ya boy! ((:

2009-01-12T00:12:00.002+08:00

nh's open house on saturday. and i was "invited" to be back to display my invaluable artistic talents on the whiteboard of the classroom inno was using. i was supposed to reach nh at 8.30am, alas! who knew what happened to my stupid phone. the alarm at 6am didn't ring and i woke up at 8.10am. heavenly.

i could only reach nh at 9.15am. i thought i was super unlucky. i should have walked to nh after i reached clementi mrt. i would probably have reached at 8.45am. darn those stupid buses. word of caution: failure to estimate bus timings accurately could cause one to be late and hence, resulting in a series of unexpected happenings. which was exactly the dumb-est thing that ever happened to me. imagine being late and u wait for the wrong bus and then causing u to be later than ever.

right. inno's room was already set up by the time i got there. okay, i'm feeling damn guilty bout this now. but i what i can say is that i was really impressed with the display. the club definitely did a great (really brilliant) job. i think they can really do it all by themselves now, i'll just be the backup. and its really time to sit back and watch them work. perhaps, mrs. chang can "fang xin" now. ((: good job club!

and then i did the smartest thing. i went hunting for mrs. tan. and i found her outside the guzheng room. yes, she's the teacher-in-charge for guzheng now. i'm guess that she's happier where she is now (thou i dno why-maybe my sixth sense?). right, we chatted for more than an hour, before spotting mrs. chang across the classroom blocks. i was so thankful that i was so "far" from where she was, else i would have most probably been 'knocked out'. see, it pays for breaking your promise and being late. i shall not reveal the contents of my chat with mrs. tan (its a holy secret!) it's just so nice talking to her.

and i finally asked mrs. tan if xiao qing was in the staff room. and yes, she was there. i hurried down to meet my long-lost friend. (according to mrs. ong, she's been looking for me the entire morning.) i guess she was happy to see me, i'm guess cos i totally have no idea. seeing her just made me 'go young' again. just happy, carefree. plain, simple joy. oh yes, and i extorted 2 notebooks from mrs. chang. hahas. kinda made her give me the notebooks. and i was so impressed when she told me that she threw away a whole stack of notebooks when she was cleaning up her table sometime last month. great. so much for recycling.

didn't really get a chance to talk to mrs. chang. she was kinda busy looking thru her notes and yea, she seemed really busy. i do miss talking to her. i don't know why, both she and mrs. tan have this thing, this impact on me. always (without fail) after meeting them or just talking to them (not including sms) would just make me want to study. gosh. imagine if i were to camp at either of their houses during the exam period, i think i'll probably be on the front cover of np's monthly magazine and receiving loads of scholarships. haahaas. (dream on..)

i saw so many teachers at nh. really amazing. there was mrs. chang and mrs. tan (obviously!), ms von lim, ms jesse lim, ms loy xq, mr. nic liu, mr. liu gk, mr. ed ng, ms chng, mrs. a ong, mr seow, mrs. siew, mr fonseka (amazingly he still remembers me! i reckon i should have asked him what's my name, he might just fail that question.), mr. pandian, mr. a yeo, mr. eric tan, and not forgetting my facebook buddy, mrs. lip! okay, if i missed out any teachers, which i most probably would have, i'm so sorry. there were just too many i saw.

i miss nh, i miss nh, i miss nh. i miss the ever so lovable staff there.

mrs. chang, mrs. ong and mrs. lip left early cos xiao qing had some cca exhibit at her school. aww. my long-lost friend is primary 2 this year. oh yea, nicholas, jj and xueli saw the two of us walking along the foyer and nic asked if xiao qing was my sister! hahas, i didn't know what to reply. and after that xiao qing asked why i didn't answer. i just didn't know what to say! i just asked her, 'you want me to say yes?' and her reply was just a big, sweet smile. awww. so sweet.

helped inno pack up a little after the whole extravaganza. the greatest thing i did, was to help them draw the keys. yes, and i so happen to see mr. wee at the general office. and he entrusted me with the keys to open the studio. okay, he has never done this before. really.

went for lunch with mrs. tan at ghim moh. i was hoping to be able to find vegetarian food, alas, vegetarian food was like 'for breakfast only' and the only 2 stalls there were closed. so i brilliantly went to buy soya drink. at least its more filling. we talked bout almost everything under the sun. alright, as usual, she couldn't get off the topic of me having a bf. see, incalcating the wrong values. hahas, she was like asking 'anyone shown interest?' or 'how are the guys in ur school?' c'mon! he will come when he has to come. why the rush? mrs. tan's more anxious than my mum really. i can't imagine that day thou. mrs. tan said i was the 'emotionally strong' breed. she did some tests on me when we were walking to the mrt. yes, those questions. she seemed so amazed by my answers thou.
*sidetrack a bit: and eileen sent me an sms telling me that i must invite her to my wedding. (that was SO random! and i received this sms out of nowhere. gosh. i nearly dropped my phone okay?!) -.-

reached home at bout 3.30pm.
i'm thinking back bout the conversations between me and mrs. tan. i realised that we don't really have much common topic. me leaving nh has caused a major barrier. there's much lesser common things to talk about now. its more of sharing my life with her. goodness. sometimes i wonder if i'm saying too much or giving too much details or just letting out too much insights to my life. if only she'd tell me more bout her life (other than all the lame things that are happening in school), perhaps i won't feel so this way.

sometimes i do wonder how others see me. am i too talkative? am i too 'happy-go-lucky'? am i bitchy? or am i very 'what'? yes, i do wonder. and sometimes i fear it too. well...

alrights, i can't wait for tomorrow to come. cos i'm gonna get my new pants and yea, i'm not gonna bring my lappie to school for the first time in nearly 11mths!
the coming week's gonna be damn busy. first the EIS test on tues, the rehersal for SpeechCraft on tues, the BF re-test on thurs and the SpeechCraft on thurs (same day!), and the JAE helper on fri!

i wonder if i still have time for myself. sighs.

2008-12-29T00:13:00.002+08:00

been at expo for the past 3 days. i seriously think i spent my last 3 days immersed in Buddha teachings and chantings.

day 1 (27th dec)
i replaced daddy to volunteer at the Amitabha Buddhist Society Dharma Conference 2008 at expo hall 1 (in chinese they call it 法会). nothing much about what i do. simply sell the mp3 players with the Buddha chantings and the lotus lamps (that changes colour every 2 seconds! - i think they're quite nice, its just that they change the lights a little too fast, they make me dizzy.) mummy was with me the whole time. yes, we did more "shopping" and eating (yes! the food was so good! porridge for breakfast, rice with potato, vege and cabbage! there was free flow of food and drinks - soya bean, coffee, herbal tea of all sorts, fruti juices, burgers and bread with peanut butter, nutella, margarine spread.. dinner was duck rice! seriously, there's no need to worry bout having no food or going hungry) than helping out at the booth. mummy got me my first 佛珠 (those that i wear on my hands), and we 2 big bagfuls of 结缘品 (these 结缘品s are actually books or CDs on Buddha teachings and they will give us answers to all the "what, why, when, how, where" questions on Buddhism). hey hey, i got one CD that talks about physics and Buddhism! isn't that cool? i wonder how science and religion collide man! :x i've yet to watch the dvd yet, but i really can't wait! mummy and i got home at about 11pm that night. really tiring day, cos we woke up at 6.15 in the morning and didn't sleep at all during the day.

day 2 (28th dec)
yet another life liberation. this time it was held at SAF Changi Yacht house or something. totally forgot the actual name of that place, but i do remember seeing lots and lots of yachts. i was so facinated really. i love the view of the sea, as always. lovely morning, but the sun was too overwhelming, and yy nearly blacked out. well, the groupers were BIG, really BIG, nearly the size of my middle finger to my elbow. and they were all so so heavy! gosh. went back to expo for lunch, vegetarian, yes! rice with potato, some green vege and some fried toufu! yes, myk, i had 2 servings. i was freaking hungry. i didn't eat dinner there, sobbs. anw, mummy went out for a gathering with her SJAB friends (for the first time in dno how many decades). err. its so weird not having her at home. i decided not to sms or call her, since the 2 other sisters were already hogging mummy's precious time with her friends. and... i spent the miserable night playing rollercoaster on my handphone.

day 3 (29th dec)
i woke up at officially at 11.15a.m. (in mummy's vocabulary it's 12noon). happily slept all the way and ate 2 paos for brunch. trained down to expo again, cos today its the final day and the day to chant for the 往生者s. (yes, we added mama's name to the list). we missed the first phase, but we managed to stay on for the last 2 phases. ate dinner and snack there. i seriously find their vegetarian food super up to standard. how i wish i can have food like these everyday! right. mummy got me a charcoal material key chain. its apparently hanging on my phone now. charcoal is supposed to reduce radiation, well.. i guess i need the 3kg pack one, since, i'm always on my laptop and handphone. uhh. imagine me sleeping on a pillow filled with those charcoal used for bbq. wow. oh yea, i extorted a pair of slippers from mummy. hahas, kinda forced her to buy it for me. i was so into the mood of bullying people. diao. anw, erjie got her slippers too. stayed all the way until the end of the whole session, cos daddy, shushu and biaoge had a special mission. oh yea, they are the so-called "unregistered Buddhists" cos they haven't gone thru the ceremony, but yet they bought their 海清s! hahas, daddy looked like some jap samurai. really funny. and the 3 of them were so amused by their new attires that they can't help showing off their joy when erjie helped to take photos of them. uhh. not funny wor. right, reached home around 11.30p.m. really tired.

i'm still trying to eat as much grass as possible. the thought of sinking my teeth into chicken really puts me off. i think the 49 days of vegetarian did really give some impact on my diet. i'm not totally on grass, but i think i'm a 80% herbivore and a 20% carnivore (owing to the fact that i still dare to eat fish, and some types of pork).

i've still got so much stuff undone.
the speech contest, IAM assignment, and some other school work i really have no idea about, the camp, meeting eileen the great, sleep more, clean up my supposedly messy table, buy my bagpack....

yes, my bloody phone is gonna get repaired tmr. yes! no, BOO! cos it's the 4th time i'm sending in for repair!

sony sucks! eww. and LOUSY customer service.

2008-12-25T09:21:00.001+08:00

lots to update.

hiked from NH all the way up mount faber via pasir panjang wholesale centre, hort park and those park connectors. really lovely view from the above. i mean i seriously enjoyed the walk, even though we did the recee in the afternoon at 1pm!!
thought we'd have a nice bus ride down from mount faber, but only yo find out that the bus service is only available on weekends.hooray! so hiked all the way down back to harbourfront. took 100 and dropped at queensway to settle the camp and class tees. all settled by 7.15pm (i think). yaozhong's parents dropped me at some bus stop near np and bussed back in 67. and yaozhong actually asked me to send him an sms when i got home safely! omg. i mean, who on earth would actually do this? it was really nice of him to do so. really nice.

6B's sentosa gathering was awesome! i actually had so much fun during the skyride and luge (with special thanks to JM and zhengyang). and zhengyang had his really pathetic broken cylindrical chocolate birthday cake. it was totally smashed, cos the luge ride down had been real shaky.

grandma's 7th seven. yes. it has been more than 49 days already. and now my lovely
grandma is on the altar. yes. and 49 days just passed like that. time does fly.

went back to nh during sec 1 registration. the only highlight was that siian and i re-did the camp briefing for the camp, during the council's debrief. woah. and then siian was so kind to cab me to je mrt. hurried back home to pack for my chalet stuff.

family chalet was loads of crap. crazy bonkers. it was the beach and the beach and more of the beach. well, nothing much to do there other than just watching the sea and those boats to ubin flying to and fro across the waters. and not forgetting mahjong and tv and BBQs. i think we did mahjong quite a bit. imagine, 3 days! of cos the highlight was the match between arsenal and liverpool. great stuff. esp those goals man. and i won't ever forget the comentary that guzhang gave. "if u want 2-2 ah... then... u have to wait lor." good stuff.i did take alot of pictures, took this chance to display my stupid photographic talents. -.-" right. the picutres are becoming the wallpapers on my lappy now. and guess what? a 4D3N chalet cost us nearly 900 photos! great. now i have to find a way to upload everything on facebook. and i'm so thankful that there is this
invention called a digital camera. imagine if 900 photos has to be developed.
goodness.

i'm so into facebook now, that i actually forgot that i had a blog.

it's time to get busy with council camp! and it's gonna take place in a week's time! i seriously can't wait man. hahas.

oh yea, merry x'mas!

2008-12-13T23:30:00.002+08:00

i'm totally drained from the ecp outing and work. and there is a meeting at 9.30 am tmr. and a primary school gathering at sentosa on monday.

i guess i only have my tuesday and thursday free. wednesday is that very lame workshop for speechraft. and friday is grandma's 7th seven. saturday till next tuesday is family chalet. and family outings on 26th and 27th. now that's left my 28th till 31st free before next year comes.

keeping in mind that council camp is on the 2nd & 3rd of jan, the last few 'free' days of my holidays are fading away from me.

what a fun-filled and enriching holiday.

i'm so blessed.

and tired.

2008-12-07T12:40:00.003+08:00

There are some things in life that we miss and we wish to reminisce. When we very badly want those days to come back, we realise that it's impossible to turn back time and make them all happen again.

I miss all my friends from the SK trip. No matter how much I actually miss them, I fear to think about the trip. How I actually wish I didn't do those things to make myself so unpopular. Only if those things had never ever happened.

Huiling, stop saying that I'm sociable. If I really am, I wouldn't have this name: "extra" or be out-casted by so many last time. Freak.

I wondering: why hasn't anyone dreamt of Grandma yet? Is Grandma really fine out there? When will Grandma send a sign to let us know that she is fine?

I miss her. I really do.

Grandma, where are you?

2008-11-28T09:31:00.003+08:00

just finished inno camp at nh. if it wasn't for school, i would probably still be there, trying to shoot the volleyball and bball into the netball hoops.

met mrs. jacq tan for lunch yesterday. we couldn't stop talking. it was (well..) really nice of her to take time off from home to have lunch with me, and yes, i'm damn grateful for that. i was really enjoying the company and chat until i saw an old lady on a wheelchair, with a tube attached to her nose. i hesitated and i stared at the old lady till she was being pushed (on her wheelchair) out of sight. this old lady reminded me of grandma again. sigh. i think mrs. tan knew what was on my mind, and she just gave me a pat on the shoulder and of cos, a very kind smile.

anw, i accompanied her to get some stuff from ntuc after lunch, to find out that she was going to australia for two whole weeks! i was like "wow! 2 weeks!" hahas. we parted when mrs. tan had to go home while i went to nh to camp in for the day.

mrs. tan did ask me to go to her house, for her daughter would be more than happy to have someone older to play with her and that i would (most probably) inculcate the right values to her daughter. hahas. i guess i wouldn't mind that. as i've told her, it'll probably be after the 49 days are over, i seriously look forward to see her girl. the last time i saw jacq junior was like more than a year ago (last year's mid autumn).

camp was quite cool. i thought it was really an ingenious idea to get the juniors and all to plan, budget and cook their own meals. the idea was originated from the obs style. so yea, i'm really impressed. to say, i thought it was quite fun watching them get their food ready and to watch the flames go on and off and on again.

if i ain't on vegetarian, i would probably have lots of fun whipping up dinner. gosh. i've never really tried outdoor cooking, with charcoal and solid fuel, not counting bbqs.

since there wasn't really enough food, i accompanied mdm to blk 407 to have her dinner. it was around 9pm then, and guess what? i hadn't taken my dinner yet and i was not hungry! wow. and i found out some disappointing facts. and no wonder, mdm didn't seemed as thou she was listening, sigh. will this difference bring us further apart?

mdm didn't really seemed enthu, probably cos she was flu-ing. so she actually knocked out slightly before 12 while i carried on to do my work in the darkness. now its the super interesting bit. i was in my fbt, thinking that i would go to sleep in that and a black tee and my quite-thick jacket. but after a while, i started to feel cold. i don't know why i feel that cold, probably because i'm under the air-con. so i did the smartest thing on earth, that was to change back into my jeans and zip up my jacket and to increase the temperature to 26 degrees. smart right?

after a while, mdm woke up and asked for the room temperature. she complained that it was very warm. uhh, i was just staring to enjoy the very comfortable warmness. and she lowered the temperature to 22 degrees. poor tengteng started to freeze under the conditioning, with her top half wrapped in her jacket and her feet wrapped in her shorts. while mdm was at the corner covered in her very comfortable sleeping bag. anw, she kept tossing and turning around, i don't think she really slept with all the turning arounds.

the freeze last the whole night and it finally ended when kl entered the room to wake me up (to go to school), aww.. i think it was so nice of her to do so. i took mdm's jacket and wrapped it over my head and used my own jacket to wrap around my legs. and yes, i was kept warm for the last 10 mins of my sleep. and mdm said that i was stupid cos i didn't ask for the blanket when i was cold. diao. i thought she was sleeping ma, and i had no intentions of waking her up. well, i did lower the aircon from 23 to 26 degrees, before she complained that it was warm and increased it up to 22 degrees again. so... was i really stupid? -.-" i'll bring a sleeping bag next time round (if any).

thing to note: mdm snipped off her long hair and highlighted some bits of her hair. so yea, there's much lesser resemblance now. at least ms chng can tell us apart now. but still a pity, i thought it was kinda fun playing with look alikes, since mrs. tan said i was the mutated version of mdm. LAUGH OUT LOUD.

holidays for primary and secondary school students are finally here. erjie, yy, ah boy, msy, ngakei and enen are all on holiday now. how i wish i've got my holidays while they have theirs.
common test is round the corner. i think its next week. great stuff. i've totally got no idea on what's going on and what's not.

i'm feeling so lost and i don't know what to do next.

where's my guiding light?

2008-11-22T18:44:00.007+08:00

grandma's 3rd seven.

我们过了三个没有嫲嫲的星期。
我应该是习惯了这样的日子，但我发现自己还是很怀念、想念有嫲嫲的日子。

我觉得少了一个嫲嫲，就好像少了一份关怀、一份爱。

回想起最后一次和嫲嫲通电话，（17 oct）嫲嫲说：“有啊！有挂住你。。。要用功读书、听阿爸阿妈的话、不要给阿爸阿妈操心，知道吗？不要担心我。嫲嫲好好，有阿爸他们陪我。你回家休息啦，改天才来看嫲嫲啦hor? 好啦，好啦，hor？mm.. 拜拜, ah 拜拜。。。”

我真的很想再次听到嫲嫲的声音、很想再次听到嫲嫲叫我：

- “要用功、用心读书，要好好孝顺阿爸阿妈，要乖乖听话，不要辜负阿爸阿妈对我的期望。”
- “你很乖的，你很有嫲嫲的心，嫲嫲很开心有个这样乖的孙。”
- “ 你生日，所以嫲嫲要给个红包给你，你收好来。”
- “好lor, 嫲嫲听到你考到好成绩，嫲嫲好开心。哈哈哈，很好很好。”
- “这些钱是嫲嫲给你的，你收好，拿去买东西吃、搭taxi回家也好，你不拿，嫲嫲会生气的。”

When death occurs, nothing can change it nor can anything turn it around. It’s only when you lose someone, then you’ll start to realize the importance of having him around.

Since 嫲嫲’s passing, I’ve realized that my entire daily routine has been turned upside down. I don’t have enough time to complete my work. To top it all, I’m energy-drained by the time I reach home after school.

Test is on Monday. I didn’t mention anything about this test to mummy or daddy, cos I don’t wish to let them worry about me and my test (and I already feel damn stressed without their constant reminders). Since I didn’t mention anything about tests or work, mummy and daddy would obviously think that school’s slack enough for me, and they would start to complain when I don’t help with any housework. Who else, other than myself can I blame?

Freak people, teach me how to multi task!
Who would actually understand this mental torture?

嫲嫲, when will you give us a clue that you're happy out there?
嫲嫲, why don't you come back instead? It's so weird without having you around.

2008-11-11T13:31:00.002+08:00

嫲嫲就这样的走完了她的一生。

在那五天有很多人都到此慰问。可以看得出嫲嫲生前的人缘有多好。出殡当天，天气晴朗，阳光普照。我们跟着灵车走了一段路，然后上了第一辆巴士，后面有多一辆巴士、十多辆私家车和两辆摩托车紧跟在后头。看，我们的嫲嫲有多威风。

嫲嫲的灵车很漂亮，玻璃是浅蓝色的，有黄色的花朵和青色的小灯泡围绕着玻璃窗，我是第一次看到这么美的灵车。跟着灵车走时，边听、边念着佛经，心情是很平静的。

I didn’t feel anything when grandma’s coffin was being pushed down the aisle, into the flames. Perhaps like what daddy said, what’s left is just the hardware.
Our 嫲嫲 has left for some other place.

Grandma had a good life and we should celebrate over what she had had.
她有四个非常孝顺、非常疼爱她的孩子，两个很照顾她的媳妇，两个听话的女婿，还有八个可爱的孙子。嫲嫲很疼家里的每一个人。每逢佳节、生日，她都会给红包。
现在嫲嫲已经不在了，不知道谁会代替嫲嫲份红包。

I really miss 嫲嫲.
I miss those times when she told me to study hard.
I miss holding her hand.
I miss talking to her.
I miss watching her eat.
I miss hearing her laugh.
I miss watching her smile.
I miss hearing her get irritated.
I miss watching her pray every night.
I miss playing mahjong with her and singing that song to her.
I miss hearing her calling out our names.
I miss her unique way of rolling onto the bed.

If only there was a way for her to let us know that she’s ok out there. It’s not easy to accept the fact that she’s really gone forever.

Only when 嫲嫲's gone, then I start to see and realize her importance in the family. We’ve removed almost all of her clothes and her belongings. We're only left with her memories.

我真的好想念嫲嫲。

Her laughter, her smiles, her coughs and her rolling into bed actions have all become memories.

Grieve takes time.
Lots of time.

2008-11-03T01:25:00.003+08:00

我们完成了嫲嫲的心愿：
嫲嫲昨天在家中安详地走了。

it was painful to know that grandma has passed on. my legs nearly jellied when i heard that grandma just passed away. it was really sudden. grandma took her last breath just some 30mins after she was sent back home via the ambulance. daddy, shenshen, shushu and grandpa saw that grandma died in the presence of the Buddha. somehow we thought that the Buddha led grandma and made her move on.

we chanted for 12 hours straight from the point grandma passed on. this chanting was to aid her in return to the ji le world, where all Buddhist devotees should go after they die.

as of now, 我相信嫲嫲已经成佛，到了另一个没痛苦，没悲伤的世界。
crying and calling out her name or 'talking' to grandma would only make her hesitate about really leaving us and moving on.

it's hard not to tear when i reminisce about those times i've spent with her during her healthy days. grandma's such a great person. i should be celebrating the quality life that she always had - filial children and spouses and the amazing grandchildren. life's gonna be really different without her around.

grandma wants to see her grandchildren graduate with a uni cert. i remembered her mentioning about this before her heavy dosage of morphine at the hospital.

and i promised her, i will.

if she knows i'm still blogging at this hour, i think she won't let me off. she would probably be asking me to sleep early and get more rest.

i seriously think grandma's watching over me and the rest of the family.

amitabha.

thanks eileen, jazz and alfred.

2008-11-01T00:16:00.002+08:00

这几天真的好累。
shuffling between school, home and the hospital is really wearing me out.

嫲嫲的情况还是没好转过，她还是迷迷糊糊的睡着。大家最近一直都在讨论嫲嫲的身后事，we seemed ready physically. but are we up to this terrible mental challenge?

唯一值得感到安慰的，就是看到-那个整天都说自己没有胃口的-老爸，能够轻松的在kopitiam吃晚餐。i offered to share a huge plate of vegetarian bee hoon with daddy, since his appetite was rather bad. i had finally managed to convince him to have dinner together with us at the canteen, instead of having to eat by grandma's bedside. daddy, mummy, erjie, yy, shenshen, yeye, biao gugu, aunty joanna and i were all having dinner together. perhaps it was the company of people that helped to increase daddy's appetite. i noticed that daddy was eating his way thru the food, while i took slow and small mouthfuls. he did not stop he just carried on until there was apparently not much left and he asked me to 'finish the rest'. it was then that i realised that i had eaten less than half of that entire plate of food, since the past 2 weeks.

虽然晚餐真的是‘吃不饱’，但能够再次看到老爸有‘多一些’胃口，心里却是真正的‘饱’了。我这个阿四的任务其实才刚刚开始。。。要把老爸的胃口搞好，还有很长的路。。。

this old man is really affected by what's happening to his mummy. even aunty yanching could tell. daddy's just put up a strong front. just look at the poor old soul suffering behind this strong guy image. what else can i do to help him?

anw, happi 17th to huiling - hope you enjoyed ur belated and super memorable b'dae lunch ((:

2008-10-29T10:05:00.002+08:00

grandma had been so drowzy and drifting in and out of sleep for the past few days. she did not respond when we called her and talked to her, but yet she woke up last night.

嫲嫲半夜醒来，叫姑妈拿红包给我们每个人，因为下个月是嫲嫲的生日。

will she make it for her birthday in mid november?

2008-10-27T21:58:00.002+08:00

things are still as bad as they were yesterday.

嫲嫲的病情一直没好转的迹象。她还是很弱，根本没能力讲话。
我们麦家都到医院探望嫲嫲，只有大姑丈得开工。在病房里，最幸福的就是嫲嫲了，有4个儿女，两个媳妇，8个孙。除了家里的那4只狗，ocean, beckham, willie, junior, 一家大小都到齐了。

今天有很多亲友，婶婶的妈妈和哥哥，嫲嫲的妹妹和女儿，小姑丈的妈妈，到医院探望嫲嫲，但嫲嫲还是迷迷糊糊的，似乎听不到我们在跟她说话。唯一值得感到安慰的就是嫲嫲听到了她妹妹的声音，嫲嫲还连续地叫着她妹妹的名几次。

老爸和叔叔已经开始讨论嫲嫲的身后事，听起来也有一些些可怕。

在回家途中，妈咪说：‘嫲嫲的亲家全部都到了，除了外婆和公公。’这一句让我感到万分心寒。听起来好像真的是时候了。

看到嫲嫲那么辛苦，似乎在死亡边缘振扎，我反而原佛祖能早日带嫲嫲离开，减少痛苦。心里是那么的不舍得，但我们还可以做些什么呢？

我记得最后一次和嫲嫲打麻将时，心情是神好的。我，佑佑和二姐是‘越打越high’。我就在那时‘唱’了一首歌：邓妙华的‘牵引’。佑佑和二姐大赞难听，但嫲嫲却说好听，要我继续唱。

我今天用了吉他弹出了这首歌的旋律。
嫲嫲还会有机会再听到这首歌吗？

那股心痛，心酸的感觉真的难以形容。

2008-10-23T10:06:00.003+08:00

一切来的太突然了。

a month ago, i had accompanied grandma for her eye check up at SNEC. she still had the energy to stand and wait for the cab. she could still manoeuvre herself with just a little help from us. i remembered seeing her eat her way thru the 3 dishes and half a bowl of rice. and i remembered her laughing at my joke of her saying that she's "full" and yet she was still happily eating her way thru.

23 days ago, i had accompanied grandma for her MRI scan. she was still ok then. at least grandma ate quite a bit still. i remembered her sharing food with us.

9 days ago, grandma was already hospitalised. i called daddy and talked to grandma on the phone. i asked grandma is she misses me. her reply was still very strong and sounded energetic. grandma told me that i must listen to mummy and daddy, because they've put in alot of effort to look after us. she told me to work hard and 'bei sum gei douk xu'. i promised and told her i would visit her the next day.

7 days ago, grandma had the energy to kiss us. she urged us to go home and still could complain that she did not kiss me on the cheek properly. she was still eating pandan cake and drinking milo off the cup.

somewhat 5 days ago, gujie stayed overnight at the hospital with grandma. i remembered saying goodnight to her and her persistence to shoo us home to rest.

4 days ago, grandma was complaining of the unbearable pain and she didnt sleep at night. she still had the energy to tell people off.

3 days ago, grandma threw a tantrum because the stupid doctors couldn't inject the constipation medication into the anus properly and it caused bleeding.

2 days ago, grandma ate her favourite cereal meal prepared by chef rita. she had quite considerably alot that day, compared to the past week. grandma had a sudden emergency at night around 10pm. she couldn't breathe and the doctors did some crazy thing to get her breathing back.

yesterday, many of us went to see grandma. guma came in the morning. gujie straight after work. mummy came around 3 plus. grandpa, shushu, shenshen, chef rita, msy, mnk and mky came about 4 plus. daddy and i were at the hospital, since early morning 7am.

doctor had put up a sign of 'no food by mouth' because of the sudden emergency last night. they were afraid that grandma might choke on her food and cause lung inflammation. grandma didnt know about that. she woke up slightly past 8am, and she said she wants to sit upright. we adjusted the bed for her. after sitting for a while, grandma made a comment. she said that sit upright means must eat and that she was hungry. yes. she sounded really annoyed and irritated. we talked to her and asked for the doctor, who took her time to come. grandma was finally given her fish and oats paste around 9am. she ate a total of about 3/4 of the container contents, for breakfast and lunch.

grandma's eyes were always looking upwards when she opened her eyes. and her pupils rolled up, showing only the whitish bits when she closed her eyes to sleep. her eyes were half-closed.

i saw a teardrop on the corner of grandma's eyes when grandpa held her hand. msy, chef rita, shenshen, mummy and gujie cried.

grandma was sleeping soundly when i left the hospital with mummy around 6pm.

grandma's favourite brother and his family visited her at night.

daddy said grandma had a drama last night and insisted that she wanted to go home.

today, doctor said we cant bring her home. grandma's heavily depending on morphine to relieve her severe pain. her dosage was twice of what was injected yesterday. the morphine is injected into her stomach via the drip, cos the drug would work faster when injected via the stomach.

daddy said he would rather ask the gods to take her away than to see grandma suffer.

grandpa knows his wife won't last.

i know it hurts. really.

the adults are arranging a hospice stay for grandma to spend her remaining days.

doctor said (from his experience) we have about 1 to 2 weeks.

how prepared are we?

biao ge, don't faint. ur mommy needs you.

2008-10-19T11:14:00.003+08:00

thanks!

jazzrel - for being mentally here with me.
khengleng - for the sms.

- and all who've told me to stay strong and positive.

2008-10-19T10:30:00.006+08:00

Looking after a patient is no easy task.

yesterday was grandma's third day at the hospital. i'm so glad that i'm finally able to visit her. i cabbed down to NUH with daddy, grandpa and enen. grandma was awake when we arrived, but she was still rather drowsy (cos of those painkillers) and she took sometime to recognise who we were.

there's this contradiction with these painkillers. they help to 'kill' your pain, however. they make you sleep. so indirectly, they make you sleep without pain. and what can you do when you're not in pain anymore after eat those painkillers? nothing. but to sleep. can't the research on a drug that'll kill the pain and keep you awake at the same time??

nevertheless, grandma was better than she was at home. she was able to sleep painlessly and she could have much more rest - she was literally sleeping for like 80% of the time. so we actually don't get much time with her, other than the fact of watching her sleep peacefully. we grabbed the chance to talk to her and (well...) make her happy while we get the chance to do so, when she wakes up.

on the brighter side, a few really funny things happened while daddy, gujie and i were at the hospital with grandma.
1. grandma couldn't stop farting when she got out of bed to get to the toilet. uhh. she made us stay away from her as thou her fart kills.
2. grandma told gujie off, when gujie was trying to ask about the pain in her stomach. it's the first time that i hear grandma sounding so irritated (not counting those times when grandpa tries to irritate her).
3. daddy sat on the pandan cake that gujie bought. the pandan cake was later known as pandan biscuit. and guess what, this pandan 'biscuit' was later happily consumed by grandma, who apparently said that it was very nice. (gosh!)

oh, btw, grandma looked kinda cute when daddy and gujie fed her. grandma didn't have to say anything, for once she opened her mouth, the food would just go into it. hahas.

when it was time for us to leave, gujie kissed grandma twice and (obviously) grandma kissed her too. and then it was (of course!) daddy's turn. after which, grandma called for me. MY TURN. i bent down to let her kiss my cheek, but grandma kissed my hair (which was covering my cheek) instead.
to my surprise, grandma complained that it was not counted, for she kissed my hair and she insisted to 'kiss again'.
well... ain't that sweet?.. aww...

grandma hadn't slept when we left. i hated the thought of leaving her in the hospital while all of us head back home. but we had no choice. we left with a heavy heart.

i saw how guma, gujie, daddy and shushu took care of grandma. their actions lighted a few bulbs in my head.

对于父母的养育之恩, 我们这些身为子女的, 一辈子都还不完.
there're two extreme sides on how children treat or care for their parents. the first side would be those who care about their parents, the same way as how their parents cared for them when they were young. the other side would be those who can't be bothered at all.
i can't imagine those heartless people who actually don't bother to take care of their parents when they'll ill. it's 'inhumane'. sigh.

i'm going to the hospital later, probably going to stay till 10pm, like yesterday. it's a good thing, at least i can fall asleep faster at night.

grandma will never recover from this.
we can only give her all the quality time before her time's up.
and.
i'll do what i can to make her happy.

2008-10-17T21:29:00.004+08:00

two very lovely women cheered me up today by leaving me with a few of their very best and most unforgetable lame convers.

Conver 1
lmz: "eh, got something i want to ask you."
me: "huh? what isit?"
lmz: "you got boyfriend already?"
me: "laugh out loud! dun have."
lmz: "sure or not?"
me: "diao eh. i told you i have will tell you right? where got time to find one?"
mjact: "boyfriend不是找的, 要he come and find you才对!"
lmz: "(couldn't help agreeing immediately) ya lor!"
me: "..."

Conver 2
mjact: "eh teng ah, how's the people in poly like?"
me: "ok la, quite good ar."
me: "errr... dressing of my sort is rare lor. some got make up also lar."
mjact: "ar... not very wad meh? "
me: "no lar, i got my own style man. quite good ma. simple.makeup a bit the heavy lar. i dun like leh."
lmz: "haha! then (to mjact) 不然你认为她为什么坐在我这边,而不是你那边?.."
me: "what the... next time 我来的时候就摆一张椅子在center lor.."

Conver 3
lmz: "there you got a he-she mah! she's(refering to me) a man in a woman!"
me: "diao. i think u're really..."
mjact: "她好像不知道她在讲她自己hor.."
me: "(couldn't stop laughing)"
lmz: "(gave the super 'diao' face)"

Conver 4
lmz: "next time you open your bag must say lah!"
me: "oh. sorry sorry. i forgot about ur weak heart. (now i know, my crumpler has the potential to scare people.)"
me: "PEOPLE, I'M GOING TO OPEN MY BAG!!!" (-.-)

they are so freaking lame today. i really dno what's wrong with them. i've never seen them so happy before thou, it's really good to see them smile and laugh and crap like nuts.

after seeing them today, i finally realised how much i really really miss them. gosh.

i spoke to grandma on the phone today. she sounded good, despite the fact that she's a little breathless. i kinda miss her voice. i know she definitely misses us, cos she actually asked daddy how come her grandchildren haven't visit her yet.

i had so terribly wanted to go down today, but daddy told me not to. well...

daddy's well beaten off his feet for the past dno how many days. it hurts to see him looking so tired and lost at times. i miss my daddy too. i've only seen him for less than 4 hours since the previous night. he's got little appetite. mummy's worried too, when she saw that daddy covered himself with two blankets this morning and it's actually not that cold.

i'll be spending the whole day at the hospital tomorrow, to accompany daddy and also (hopefully) be able to boost his morale somehow.

i'm unable to pay attention in class. uhh. the family's half on my mind. i feel so lost sometimes. i really don't know what to do. or am i thinking too much? am i like "acting-adult"?

i don't know. i'm just worried.

homework, projects, u'll have to wait. i doubt i have time to finish you off tmr.

生命是那么的脆弱。为什么这件事来的那么突然？
要接受这个事实真的很不容易。
明天会怎样呢？

pictures with a thousand words.

2008-10-16T19:40:00.005+08:00

2008-10-16T19:33:00.002+08:00

i'm in no mood to do anything.

grandma's cancer relapsed. cancerous cells are found in her spine and there's a 5cm big tumour in her liver.

doctor had her hospitalised, for there was a need to find the right painkiller for her. if the painkiller works effectively (able to stop the pain), grandma will have the chance to go thru chemo and have a few more years to live. if the painkiller has no effect, there's nothing else we can do, nothing but to wait for time to come.

the tumor in her liver is deadly. if she can't go thru chemo, it's (considered) the end.

grandma was in pain for the whole of yesterday and she didn't sleep the previous night. she lost about 4kgs, since the pain and all started. she isn't smiling like she used to. it hurts to see her suffering.

daddy is suffering mentally.
the emotional roller coaster ride is too much for him.
he has lots of things to juggle.
he sounded lost when mum called him just now.
he had to listen to what the doctor had to say, he had to watch over grandma's emotions and he had to suppress his own feelings.
i wish i was there to help him out just now.

mummy isn't feeling too good either.
i suppose the entire family is now super worried.

be strong, grandma.
be strong, everyone.

THE MAK FAMILY NEVER FALLS.

明天会更好.

2008-10-07T18:07:00.002+08:00

music camp from 8th till 11th october.
whoever that sees this, don't bother contacting me. if it's urgent, drop me an sms. i'll reply asap.
thank you.

lappy's gone for repair. hai.

nothing much to blog about except that Eagle Eye was abit nice. and going out with can can yesterday was great fun.

i wna go out with can can, enna, nick, dan and cass soon!

and to cjm, aud, acl and co. it's time to meet up and lunch again.

the good people from MI, hahas. i miss all of u, in particular rq, yq, cy and jl. (except eileen-oops).

ms eileen tan, it's time to begin ur journey to the west liao. i'm waiting!!

huiling ar, be honoured lar. it's rare that i mention people names leh.. hahahas ((: i wna see wad u did to ur hair! :x

i miss my idol so terribly. sobbs.

2008-10-02T23:29:00.003+08:00

i dno what's wrong with me these few days.

i'm still unwilling to speak to them after that night's incident.
freaking shit. i hate this.
i should have fell asleep earlier that night, then the world would seem dead to me. hell.

i dno why i've found my parents very irritating suddenly. i'm starting to find that they make unconstructive comments at the wrong times or when things have already happened.
for instance, my laptop. mum's complaining that my laptop's giving alot of trouble and that i shouldn't have got such an expensive laptop in the first place. hell. i don't remember mum saying anything about the price on the day i bought this laptop. i even called home to ask if the price and the specs (and all the other minute stuff) were fine with her.
and now, she's complaining all about it.

second, about my bloody phone's warranty card. i've sent my phone for servicing twice already, counting today, it's the third. so, i've had at least 3 sessions trying to find my warranty card for each visit - to send the phone in for repair and to collect the phone. after phone collection today, called mum on the phone. she asked how the phone was and blahh. then i told her about the need to bring along my proof of purchase on the next visit (if any). and then mum started insisting on searching for my warranty card. duhh. c'mon, if she can find it, i'm seriously so god damn proud of her. ridiculous, after 3 to 4 times of searching and i couldn't find it. so what's the possibilty of being able to find it now? grrr...

now dad's trying to be smart in telling me what to do (to find leehui and leemin). am i noob or something? i think i'm not that stupid you know, so. please.

no wonder i've been trying to get out of the house recently. i can't stnd being at home with him for the whole day. i dread the weekends now. freak.

gg to accompany grandma to the hospital for her bone scan tmr. and the results will be out next thursday (when i'm away at camp). what the hell man. i hope grandma can stay happy and cheerful before next thursday comes. (she's not been too good lately -sigh).

huiling, thanks for reading my blog and then close the window without tagging. love u for that, ((: muax muax. lol.

poor customer service

2008-10-02T23:24:00.003+08:00

HP has super lousy customer service.

The person on the other line doesn't reply immediately and when he replies, he doesn't sound clear.

called HP and told them my problem with the shaky hinge of my tablet.

The guy (his name is Mike) only told me that someone would call me to arrange the pick up.

NO other information was given. Great.

HP did called up, at 16:07. This time around was a female (her name is Rianna - if that's the way u spell it).

She was impatient. Super impatient. I asked if it was a must to collect my tablet tmr.
She said, "No, You can choose a day for collection." So I asked if Saturday was possible.

She replied, "Yes, saturday before 1."

Then I asked, "Erm, is there any time frame? Like 9 to 10 or 10 to..."

Before I could finish my sentence, she interrupted and cut in, "No, only before 1. only before 1. only before 1. only before 1. only before 1."
Then she finally decided that she should stop repeating the same "only before 1" for the sixth time.

freak!

why must she be so impatient?

And the best part was, she didn't tell me anything about what to hand in to the person on Saturday until I asked her.

She told me, "Just the faulty unit." Then I asked if i needed to pack it in any bag or anything. She just muttered something which i couldn't really get, and then she went like, "Yes that's all."

and the line went dead.
look!

same problem as the "joy chang" at SNEC.

If she's not willing to answer the phone or even, make this call, then don't do it! why do it when she can't even do it well?

I think i won't buy HP products anymore.
goodness.

Thanks for the impression, HP.

Lousy. Not professional at all.

Disappointing.

2008-10-01T23:15:00.004+08:00

teng is damn bored.

she has no friends to go out with.

freak. and she messes things up all the time.

7 weeks of holiday and yet, she didn't manage to find anyone to go out with.

she's such a freakin' shit loser.

rotting her life away at home.

no wonder people says she has got NO friends.

anw,
she misses her idol.

2008-09-27T19:52:00.002+08:00

bought "The Last Lecture" last saturday. and my biggest woodcraft set - the beijing si he yuan. and some pen and some shirt.
i won't be able to construct the set until i've bought a piece of land at home to house the set.

accompanied grandma to SNEC today. the (super dao and has serious attitude problem) doctor (i remember the name - joy chang) was kinda rude. even gu ma felt it. i felt that she was half-heartedly doing a check on grandma's eyes. crazy. serious attitude problem, and call herself a "doctor". yuck.
grandma's eyes were ok, the same as before. we're quite relieved that grandma's eyes were still the same.
went to have lunch at some vegetarian restaurant in chinatown. i was very impressed by the wide variety of vegetarian dishes available. we ordered 3 dishes, some toufu thing and some sweet and sour "so-called pork" and the yam ring. my favourite was the sweet and sour dish. ((: grandma was pretty happy to eat at this renowned restaurant. gu ma did film some bits when we were having lunch. i'll probabaly post it if i can get the clips from gu ma. anw, the total bill went up to $30++, which gu ma kindly settle the bill.
grandma was tired coming to the end of the trip and she napped while we were in the cab on the way home. i nearly fell asleep too. i can't believe i was that tired.

amazed by the remains of my enegry, i bathed the smelly ocean. and then sweeped and mopped the floor after that.
showered and had dinner and am blogging now.

i've not been sleeping well for the past few days (nearly a week). i hope to be able to sleep well soon. gracious. i can't stand lying in bed for more than an hour, before i actually fall asleep and getting up (several times) in the middle of the night and staying awake for at least 20 mins everytime, before being able to sleep again and waking up in the morning to feel that my eyes are sore and swollen, and a headache that never fails to clear for the entire day.
what the hell is wrong man. grr.

grandma will be having a bone scan on this coming friday. and i think it's best if i accompanny grandma on friday, just like today.
oh, now i'm lost. i just remembered i'm still waiting for jia min's reply if we're having lunch together on friday.
my grandma is definitely more important. but my primary school friends are so hard to date. what to do?...

anw, i hope i didn't hear what i thought i heard and nearly stumbled upon last night.
the 3 cries took my heart to my lips and my mind out of my head.
i feel sick speaking to the two of them for the whole of today. i hope the cries would fade as time and days pass.
i feel so disgusted.

:x

Happy B'day, Daddy!

2008-09-25T14:55:00.008+08:00

the god gave me a crazy daddy on this very day.

but my poor daddy has parade on his birthday. and bad news, he's not coming back to
join us for dinner tonight.

he's super hard working and got his promotion sometime in july.

he's a good superior.

he's got gold for his ippt with lots of determination.

he's so vain and cannot stop dancing around.

he's favourite song (as of now) is pocketful of sunshine - he starts dancing
whenever he hears this song.

he's the one that complains about me being fat half the time and feeding me with
good food with the other half.

he's taught me lots of things.

he's a good listener and gives good advice.

he's given me lots of his genes. (except for those dancing around bits.)

he's a lot of trouble on this very day, cos we don't know what presents to give
him.

he's the one who suck-up to mummy during dinner almost every day.

he's quite lame and brings much life to the house when he's ok.

he's crappy and has lots of nonsense.

nevertheless, we love him for all his nonsense.

because,
he loves my mummy.

hahas.

wish my hiao hiao daddy a very happy birthday.hope he be healthy, happy and love my mummy always (i'm sure he will.)

hahas.

there u are marching away, and here we are cracking our brains again - what
surprise should we give you on this very day?

how about baking a big chocolate cake?? :p

2008-09-24T21:09:00.004+08:00

timetable's out. and it's looking good. slack enough, just my style. hahas.

meanwhile, i hope to get a new bagpack before sem starts. i dun wna a broken back after carrying 2kg ++ on a daily basis.

super guilty about not going for guitar. hai. i'm feeling super hopeless recently. and restless.

bored.
bored.
bored.

rot.
rot.
rot.

i'm missing my idol again. pain in the fan.

sigh.

2008-09-23T21:07:00.001+08:00

the new sofa is here. yea. great stuff.

gpa's out. it's crap. i couldn't even get an A for cats and math. i deserve to die man. but amazingly, bizca was a B, not a C. econs was no doubt, the lecturer was nice enough not to fail me. a C for that. and the best surprise, wp was an A. wow. so it went like 1 A, 2 B+, 2 B and 1 C+. i get to have all the different grades again. duhh. i guessed i could have done much better. i must pull up my gpa to a 3.5 or better. i wouldn't wna my uni dream to burst in my own hands. told quite a few pp bout my results. the usual gu ma, gu jie and biao ge thinks that i've done well. and i think gu ma and gu jie in particular feel super glad bout my results. they said "well done". but for those who really know me - mummy, daddy, sir edmund, mdm, and myself, thought there was room for improvement and that i had the "potential to do much better". great.

daddy went to some fishing and ulu place in bintan with his secondary school mates over the weekend. he kinda dreaded it there, he said. well, i think he's super not used to going overseas without his three princesses and his queen. err. we were worrying bout him half the time on saturday, cos he didnt call home at all. "this stupid fat man" (as gu jie said) was brilliantly intelligent. he crazily decided to switch off his phone, for dno what reason. and hence he didnt receive any sms until sunday morning. mummy couldnt stand it anymore and decided to do something to contact the fat man. err, tedious job ar. mummy had to call another uncle's wife, to realise that there was network over at daddy's area, then called up M1 again to double check if auto roaming for daddy was activated and finally, sms the another uncle - to ask daddy to activate the auto roam. just minutes after the sms was sent out, daddy called. efficiency. apparently when daddy saw mummy's sms on his friend's phone, he JUMPED up and rushed to get his freaking phone. trust daddy for the most ridiculous things on earth. uhh.

anw, he's back from that kelong place and he has vowed that he'll never be going to that place again. this vain man asked if we missed him when he was overseas. oh freak, play along with it and agree that we missed him, at least he can feel that he is a bit important at home. hahahas. i think i was more worried bout his safety when he was overseas. yea.

new update on the hamsters. i got the two rats a wheel. and to prevent all the jealousy and mummy's reluctance to get ocean wheat-free, corn-flour-free tibits, i again spared some money to get 2 vege sticks and some fishy snack for my darling. that sickening boy must seriously treat me better and love me more. hahas. even daddy is jealous of him now. :x

called up sony to "complain" about my phone. right after the repair and it refuses to turn on on the second day. great. i was more than just fed up. and the dumb guy at sony customer service said something which was so so so idiotic. he asked, "erm, so what can i do for you?" omg! i called to complain about the problem with my phone and that the bloody problem persisted after 2 times of useless servicing and he still had the freaking mind to ask "what can i do for you". i shot back at him, "you should be the one giving me the solution, not the other way round!" woah. noob. anw, i think this statement left him a little lost for words. he got toh guan to call me back within 15 mins, which was pretty efficient. err, there's this guy called jason at toh guan repair centre. he told me immediately that he'll be changing the entire motherboard of the phone (seriously, the repair centre should have done this earlier! wasted dno how many trips of my bus fares!) but the bad news was that i have to go down again to send the phone in for repair. i went like "what?! i have to go down again?!" at least this jason guy had some brains and he arranged for some dno-who-or-wad people to collect the phone. so the guy came today. got me to sign some paper and the guy just left with the phone in his hand, without any plastic or containers or protection for the phone. freak. talk about proper courier service. see? it's crap. i wonder how many more scratches would appear on my phone. if my phone still refuse to work properly after this time round's service, i'm gonna make sure sony give me a good explanation what the hell is happening and a solution to solve this freaking problem. grrr.

slacking crazily at home. wanna record what i've been doing so far at home daily. wake up around 8 plus or 9 plus every morning. have some breakfast, read the papers and use the com for a while. then i start on the biggest project of the day - sweep, vaccuum and mop the floor. things are done in about half an hour. then it's back to solitare on my com, or sometimes a bit of tv or looking after ah boy. usually around 12noon, i'll help mum prepare lunch (when she cooks). mummmy will leave house to fetch yy around 12.40pm. then i'll be back on the com again for 45 mins (until she gets back) and have lunch together with mummy and yy. after lunch, i'll help around the house, err, folding clothes, usually i'll be super enthu bout planning the night's dinner. if there aren't any dishes, i'll encourage mummy to go grab some stuff from ntuc to cook. yea. if there's seriously nothing to do, i'll be back on my woodcraft toys. then around 4 plus 5, i'll help mummy prepare dinner. it's the best part of the day. it's fun cooking and disturbing mummy. i think it helps to ligthen the stressful bit when cooking. things seem to be done much faster with me around, mummy says.

school starts in about 3 weeks (18 days). err, almost everyone is preparing for exams or is having exams. i'm just so bored. looking forward to friday. and the weekends. i hope i'll be able to get to escape somehow. hahas.

miss the pae friends - eileen, ruiqi, yuqi, jieling, chengyun, weikai, siva, gabriel and everybody. gosh. i hope to be able to meet up with the ladies real soon. looks like eileen and i are going on a date this friday, if we cant get anybody else. err, a "date" (like how eileen says it) sounds pretty ........

i wna get my lego set! when i'm freaking broke. uhh. -.-

2008-09-16T10:18:00.002+08:00

great news to share.

my two hamsters passed the test and they're both living happily together in the same tank. yes! the first 15 minutes was a great worry for mum and i. i was so afraid that the two of them would fight and result in injuries. thank goodness nothing of that sort happened. the two merely made squeaking sounds when their whiskers touched. weird way their minds work. one would never fail to disturb the other when it's sleeping, be it nibbling the ears or scratching the head. they fight when it's feeding time, so it's a lesson learnt to fill both bowls with food at the same time. the two never fail to drink from the other's bottle (for whatever reason - i think it's lovely that they're sharing saliva.) such contentment to get to put two animals back together again after separation for more than a year. i feel like a great mama suddenly. hahahas. poor ocean looks on while we tended to the hamsters. as usual, ocean gets jealous when our attention is on the hamsters. funny way this dog's mind works. he doesn't give a damn when u call him or give him attention, but when he realises that ur attention is somewhere else, jealousy starts. silent war to him simply means deliberately urinating at the borders of the papers or drinking his own urine or stepping on his own shit after he's done with his biggie. see? the only way is to calm him down immediately after caring for the hamsters. bribe the dog with treats, hug him, talk to him, make him sit next to you, stroke him, rub his tummy that should do the trick.even pets get jealous. what is the world becoming of? omg.

friday was a busy day. left house at 10.30 and went to meet the iia people at np. the guys were later than i was, when i thought i was late. err. anw, the exhibition kinda got choked up at the start. so we had no choice but to cab back to nh (with orion and justine) to get all the materials that we need.

(back at nh) it's good to be back, but not when we were rushing around to get things. freaky. justine went to the bookshop to get those cellophane papers and blu tack while i went to the office to get the long pants and orion went back to the ds (to get the bamboos and mops) and the classroom (to get the tablets). great stuff happened at the office. felt so weird walking around the office with the principal. almost everyone else in the office was staring at me the whole time. it kinda sends people the wrong message seriously. anw, had this picture taken with mr foo (thanks to mr chia). he's still on about the coffin business. i doubt i can ever get away from it. omg.

flew back to np when we finally got everything ready. cab fare to and fro cost about $12. gosh. look at how the cab fares climb. nh was the last to get the booths set up. (a bit malu lar) the booth was almost empty except the two charts (from gib's team) and the one chart (from leechen's team). plus my two materpieces and the prototypes. of cos, there was still the cellophane papers (blue and yellow). imagine if mrs ong was around, i'm somehow sure that this is definitely not her standard. anw, things got better as time passed by. i was really impressed with how the guys worked their way showcasing their ideas to the public. they were confident enough and weren't shy about what they had to do or say. compared to what i did in sec 1, i'm totally speechless (i didn't dare to say anything then and had to leave it all to huifen to do tha talking - guilty).

leechen, yuheng and i went to pack lunch for the whole team. 4 cutlets and 3 chips. total was $23. sorry to justine. i had no idea that u couldn't take chilli, i'll rmb it the next time. i got myself some jap food. finally got to eat can 1's jap food. there was NO queue. hahas. i'll never get to do this during school days.
played dj max on leechen's psp. and he taught me how to set up o2 mania. thanks alot to him really.i guess i'm super noob. i've still yet to break leechen's record of 99.7% (i'm still at 96.5%
only). lousy me.

things ended and we packed the heavy items into the can and went back to nh again with orion and justine. orion paid for the cab fare. hopefully we can get the claim, else poor orion, it's not fair to let him pay for the trip lar.

mrs. lim ls helped us open up the studio and we chucked everything in there and slammed the door shut. thanks mrs. lim.

saw yaozhong and nick and we walked around for a while. nh was celebrating mid autumn on friday night. we talked for a while and i got some updates about the teachers, who was leaving and who wasn't (i'm seriously so outdated).

mdm came with her kids around 7pm. we played catching at the amphitheatre and walked around the stalls after that. i should have about that "stop animal abuse" badge and stick it onto my bag or somewhere (for all you know, people might reckon i'm some animal or something and they would stop abusing me.). i didn't buy anything from the stalls, since i didn't feel like eating anything. plus the fact that buying the items would probably create more unwanted rubbish on my table.i'm not saying that those items they sell are rubbish (mind you), but i don't see any need or despo cravings for them. xq got some princess smarties thingy and a really pretty pen and a key chain dog. kq got his dino egg, which i proudly thought him to hide between two pillows and he actually believed it, gosh (then it was mdm's face who changed - imagine hiding chocolates in between pillows, it's every mother's nightmare). went back to the staff room. the three of us played with the lego track and the brown cart. and mdm was telling her girl not to bully me almost the whole time when we were playing. ahhahas.i was pretty amazed at how imaginative i was (seriously!). err, we started off with some gradient on the track, cos there was an extra lego piece attached. the next level was to make use of the stack of worksheets at the edge of the desk. great. the cart was still moving on the track. next, we added a calculator. and the cart was still on the track. (yeah!) then i thought that things had to be more challenging. so i told xq to put one end of the track up to the organizer box thingy on the desk. this was awesome! the cart flew down the track in record time, flew past the table edge and crashed onto the ground! fabulous. we went "oops" and fixed everything back. and then we went for yet another round using the gradients. by the time we were done, mdm was staring at us. we were obviously making so much noise in the staff room and mdm had to apologise to mrs. lim at about the noise. when the track and the cart started to bore us, lightning stuck (in my brain). ahoy people, make use of the dino egg. this huge egg was just so fun! it's so wobbly and we had a hard time ensuring that it stayed on the track while it's rolling its way down. the best part was when the track was on the organizer box thingy and the egg refused to roll down. cos xq was holding the pathetic egg with her finger. goodness. she was half covering her ears and ky was covering his ears with both his hands. the egg just stood there, waiting for it's fate. when xq finally let go, for some reason which i don't know what, i think we started shouting ad yelling. and then i heard ms loy say something like "wow, tengteng can really play man." gosh. i think i lost the image then. but then, i still love playing this way.

i guess i can never play in this manner at home. firstly, erjie and yy are way off the age to play this way. secondly, i doubt msy or mnk or mnk would ever play such things. lastly, i definitley wouldn't play in this way with sm, cos i have to be the one in control. and i seriously doubt i can play in this way with biao ge. so.. yea. period.

anw, the track finally fell off the table. xq and kj were both staring at me. i went saying "err.. oops. we have to fix it somehow." mdm immediately turned to look at me, "u, can seriously forget about fixing the track. u have no talent in this lar." thanks ar mdm. hai. i like lego, please. if i have sufficient funds, i reckon that my entire room would be filled with lego toys and buildings. we managed to fix the track in the end. thanks to me. told u i was talented. -.-
xq got bored after a while and for dno wad reason, she asked me to take her down to get a lantern. so we went down to get her lantern. we were lucky to have got the last lantern, since there weren't any more sticks to go with the lanterns. phew. i led the way and took a longer and darker route in order to enjoy the brightly lit candle within the lantern. xq was pretty scared at first, but after some assurance, she started to enjoy the walk behind the classrooms. i did tell her some things about myself and she was very amazed to realise that i wasn't studying at nh anymore. and i found out that we were both afraid of lizards and roaches. wonderful way the young mind work. when we got back to the parade square, xq begged for me to take her for the second round. i was pretty ok with it. but since she said that she had wanted to see who my sister was, we waited for a while at the parade square for erjie to appear. too bad while waiting really. mdm came round the canteen and saw us. well, it was late and it was time to go home. xq very reluctantly made her way up to the staff room. we did a little compromise and she did try her very best to extinguish the flame. in the end, she had no choice but to ask me for help to blow out the flame.

when we were about to leave, xq asked me a really interesting question, "can we do this again next time?" i was a little lost for words, but i managed to say yes. and she asked me again, "will you be here next year?" err. i told her that i would definitely be there if she'd ask for me to come. and then she asked again, "but.. i don't have your number, how do i call you?" hahahas. "mummy has. you can ask mummy to call me. (smiles)" and there she asked again, "what if you are busy and you have something on that day and you can't come?" omg. once again i assured her that i'd be there as long as she called me and i told her to call me in advance, so that i would leave next year's mid autumn day free - for her. (smiles)

while we were walking along the corridoors along the staff room, mdm suddenly stopped and went "oh shit!" then she said she left her phone in the toilet. great. so i went to get her boy, who was waiting at the stairs. ky and i walked back to the staff room. i was hesistant to go into the staff room, since the staff toilet was nowhere near mdm's table. then ky insisted to go to his mummy's table. ok, fine. i followed him to mdm's table and surprise! mdm was standing at her table. i was kinda blur, and couldn't help it but asked, "mdm, DEFINE TOILET."we burst out into fits of laughter. goodness.

we parted at the foyer. i could tell that xq was looking disappointed that it was time to go home. sighs. so mdm left with her kids while i hanged around the foyer, waiting for erjie. come to think of it, i should have walked mdm and her kids to the gate or something. well..

anw, i seriously had a whale of a time myself. i can't believe that i've had so much fun and enjoyment and contentment all in just 2 hours. wow.

i can't wait to have a chance to play with xq and ky again. gosh. may the chance come soon...
(yes! i managed to finish typing this horribly long post!)

2008-09-10T19:36:00.007+08:00

flu. cough. sorethroat. nearly fever.

spent my last 3 days feasting on medicine, wrapping wantons and choking on my own saliva. rawr. my throat still hurts quite badly thou. -.-

i was supposed to have gone for class chalet on monday. freak. i think i missed out on quite a bit of stuff. i had so badly wanted to go to escape and yea, bbq. i wna eat those satays. anw, my apologies to the peeps (who went for the chalet): my falling ill wasn't intentional. i would seriously prefer to be outdoors than having to rot in bed with a terrible body ache and headache. grr.

however, judging from my appetite, i seriously doubt if i'm even ill. i can easily gobble down a pack of bread and feel hungry within an hour. i ate double the amount of what i usually eat for dinner. i can take lunch just an hour after i have a heavy breakfast. and good news, the body mass still intact. (winks.)

anw, i was smart enough to have completed one booth design before the virus attacked me. here's gibson's booth design.

the sketch of the flats..

mission accomplished. great work on 2 mahjong papers.

i'm currently working on the second one, which would supposedly be leechen's booth design. i've got no pictures of it yet, but i'll post it as soon as i can get a good idea on what i'm trying to do. ocean excuse me. my darling has been sleeping on the paper once i walk away to get something. he thinks he owns everything that i'm doing. -.-

mdm fell ill and she wasn't in school today. and "oops" she forgot about me needing that big big compass for leechen's booth design. went up to mr liu's table and hunted for the big big yellow compass. borrowed 2 compasses, just in case 1 broke down. anw, according to mrs tan (the math one) most of the compasses were broken. so i found it amusing that i managed to find 2 working compasses. brilliant me.
hadley's kinda upset over the iia stuff (so am i). i guess the groups aren't really super enthu about the exhibition this friday. so... anw, i'm working hard. yes. orion said he owes me lunch. leechen has done his payback by giving me o2mania (which i'm still trying to figure out how to play - i think i have to ask him for help soon - hai - wad a noob). i hate reading chinese language the arabic way. ewww.

on a happier note, my desktop is done. but alibaba did the wrong kinda magic and caused us to lose all the files in D drive (including all our family photos-freak!!!). this man must have pressed the wrong key while he was formatting and he (brilliantly) puts the blame on me saying that "when you a.. reformat-tsh ar.. you did a.. the something wr-long larr. you go reformatt the D drrive instead lar.." well done alibaba. points the finger at others. lucky i'm not that stupid. and thankfully mummy and daddy believes me. oh-mi-tuo-fuo.

i'm not looking forward to waking up in the morning to choke on my saliva and swallowing my phlegm. neither can i get a good night's sleep when i can't stop coughing once my head hits the pillow.

will all the yucky stuff go away soon??

i wna eat some good food!

2008-09-05T15:58:00.000+08:00

sweeping, vacuuming, mopping, folding clothes (and sometimes) ironing have all become my daily routine. i'm ensuring that i finish all housework in the morning or before i go out during the day.

anw, i think my desktop is seriously wrecked. something must have been wrong in the first place. it's not the first time that something has been wrong with my desktop. i've officially said goodbye to my desktop. perhaps, i'll see it in hell. alibaba should be coming to pick it up sometime today or tmr, and perhaps he'll do some magic to it and make it come alive or something. of cos, i hope that alibaba uses his most powerful magic, cos it's kinda ridiculous to buy another pc at this point (when comex is actually OVER.)

sent my stupid phone for repair (for the SECOND time in THREE months). rubbish. lousy phone. i dun care what sony does to my phone, as long as my phone and m2 card comes back in one piece and that the phone stops restarting itself on me, i'll be happy and contented.

njrc was held yesterday. didn't really do anything much there, other than helping to buy lunch, eating my own lunch, reading the last lecture, boosting bok's morale to study physics and watch typical korean drama. hahas, 3 cheers to the McSpicy Team - khleng, guan, jiang, bok and me ((: 1 of the team was in the top 10 for yesterday's competition. great job! only if our inno friends knew that we were cheering for them like crazy at the stands. hahas. jiang was typing: " WEI YANG JIAYOU" in caps on word doc. and he had to keep changing names cos the teams kept sending different people out. lol.

i've got this sudden urge to throw away my tablet right now. god crazy thing. after i close microsoft powerpoint successfully, it prompts me this message: "Microsoft PowerPoint has stopped working. Windows is checking for a solution to the problem..." or "Microsoft PowerPoint is restarting..." the same thing happened when i closed microsoft word doc. "Microsoft Word Document has stopped working. Windows is checking for a solution to the problem..." rubbish. then now windows prompts me for an update, when everything else on the tablet is already up-to-date. mad mad mad. the next time round, i'll buy just a normal laptop, no tablets-since the power consumption is inhumanely high, no need for additional functions. the more functions, the worse things will get. and good news, the tablet's bluetooth is apparently down. hip hip hooray! -.-

currently devoting my time to help the iia teams on their presentation next friday. it's super rush for me. i hope i can make it. there's booth design, plus the charts and the little A4 leaflets. great. i hope things will run smoothly. chalet's next week from monday to wednesday. i'll probably head back to nh on wed right after the chalet provided the guards let me in when i'm in sandals. poof. there's still alot of work. i wonder how the idea of painting the flats and bamboos would turn out. i seriously hope i don't mess things up. leechen or yuheng or guoyao, if ur are reading this, please send me ur grp's proposals asap. ty.

to those gg for chalet frm my class, i've already sent out an sms. erm, i'll keep u guys updated right here. can ya guys lemme knw whose bringing what games, before junwei has some very crazy suggestions?? ((:

to jean (since u've asked who else's going): me, u, meixiu, teeli (will join us when she finishes work at bout 10pm), amanda, yanting, junwei, alfred (will join us on the second day at some time which i forgot :x), larry and wenfa (will try to join us on tuesday). and mayb nadiah. not forgetting ms goh huiling who has failed to "confirm with me next week". hahas ((:

2008-08-29T00:17:00.005+08:00

i'm a bit tired and sick of my old haggard desktop now. rubbish shit. i can't install os, i can't reformat. i can't do anything and nothing is working. grrr. i've been on my desktop for like quite some time already and the same old bloody screen is still staring back at me. oh. goddamnit.
on a happier note. thanks daniel for the expertise and patience with such a com noob. i think i've made him vomit quite some blood.
anw, i was smart enough to have done up the router properly so that i can use internet freely. my stupid laptop has limited access to the internet when i use a direct cable connection. rubbish again.

my laptop's bluetooth has died on me.
my desktop has died on me.
my phone is dying on me.
shit shit shit.

my retarded phone turn itself off 10 times, just 2 days after i sent it for repair. k630i sucks. and subsequently, the phone shuts itself down, as and when it feels like it. and recently things got worse. after sending any sms, the phone would go blank and do a D.I.Y restart. rubbish! i have to go down to sony repair center again for the 3rd time. it's a waste of time. what the hell is wrong with all electronic devices nowadays??!!

i'm definitely going to get an external hard disk and a keyboard at the comex. i'm also hoping to get a 8gb thumb drive. but first things first, i need to get to the fair. holy shit. i can't find anyone to go with me, except shushu! biao ge's busy (since school's started-so i'm not blaming him for that definitely, i know how busy things can be when there's school). gu jie and gu zhang have nothing to buy at the fair (so, i can also understand that- i myself wouldn't go to the fair if i've got nothing to buy). daddy turned me off totally (he just said "i got no interest la"). mummy told me to "see how first". hai. i somehow just feel like going there to walk around (not during peak periods-of cos) and to get my own stuff. sigh.

i'm sick of all these electronic goods. maybe i should do what biao ge suggests:
after purchasing any electronic goods, bring it straight to the temple before bringing it home. spray some holy water over the electronic goods, and then pray to the god and ask the god to ensure the goods' longevity and functionality. lastly bring the electronic good/s home and treat with precious care.

o.Omg.

i'm kinda looking forward to tmr.

firstly, mum's new armchair and footrest is arriving.

secondly, i've got this writing skills workshop. (it's weird that i hate to attend workshops, but yet i look forward and enjoy the process of learning something new at the workshop.) how contradictory.

thirdly, i think i'm going to meet amanda and co. for netball at nh.
i'm somehow deprived of those sec school friendships that almost everyone else might have.
how i wish i was like enna-for instance, who has got so many friends (be it from sec school, jc or poly). i envy those people who are still in close contact with their sec school friends. this section of my sec school life seems missing. i fear to approach them, and even to the extend of attending gathereings and all.

the only friends that i'm still in contact with are my dearest primary school mates, in particular dear cjm, and my pae mates. talking about my pae mates, i think it's time to send a whole series of smses to say hi and to arrange to meet up for a meal.

i miss my 4o5'o7. i miss the sai kang warriors. i miss 2o9'o5. i miss the nh peeps. well.
despite the fact that i miss them so much, i'm still afraid of taking that step to be in touch. will the past ever be forgotten? will we be able to burn away the unhappy days? will i be able to put away that fear and hide it in the closet forever?

only time will tell.

(thnks amanda-for the lovely tagg <33)

2008-08-26T10:42:00.004+08:00

i was supposed to have posted this last night.

accompanied dad to imm to get erjie's shoes. diao, this busy woman has been dancing away the entire week and have almost not time for herself and us. anw, met jiamin on the way back. i was kinda glad to see her, but poor jiamin has been totally stressed out.i could tell from her look that she was tired and all. dad went back home on his own, while i chatted with jiamin at the foodcourt until her mum called and asked her to go home. we talked about quite a bit of stuff. but i hope my dear friend can hang in there and give it her best shot in her upcoming promo. jiayou cjm, u can do it! ((:

a million billion zillion thanks to daddy on being successful in dragging me along for a run. i think he made me and yy run 3kmor something. well done. i was almost dying. all the muscles in my body was like all tensed up and my nose was watering all the way. my legs turned jelly and i nearly collapsed onto the ground cos i lost balance. great great stuff. when on earth was the last time that i went for a run? i think it was my last S&W lesson at school. and i think i ran only 2 rounds around the track then. so compare around 800m with 3000m(3km), the ratio is like... ... trust my dad for the greatest and craziest ideas on earth. nah, i think my 1WO mak still rocks. he complains that i'm fat and he's still happily feeding me with all the food that he can possibly lay his hands on. *his pocketful of sunshine is bleeding love.* o.O

many thanks to erjie for spamming my tagboard. erjie, u rubbish lar. anw, i trust that u'll lend me ur precious bag someday (maybe when it's old or when u've gotten a new one). meanwhile, take super super good care of my one and only dress and my pretty pair of shoes. remember that u have to clean my shoes when u're done with it, woman! hahahas. dabian erjie. ((:

.under-estimated.

2008-08-26T10:34:00.002+08:00

i was supposed to have posted this sometime last week.

shall talk a little about my stupid exams.
1. MATH
amazing was one word to describe it. i didn't attempt past year papers at all. *teng-the-great* has those crazy methods which causes things to have a 50% chance of success. i suddenly realise that i might be able to do math. omg. i know i've lost the whole 7 marks for the last question. i somehow wasn't able to form the equation, despite the fact that i know which method to use and apply. shity shity. maybe method marks might be given? i was smart enough to write the formula in. *claps*
2. ITL
i was thankful enough to have attended the itl remedial. whee. nothing much to say. i just hoped i did my MRP, DRP and those calculations correctly.

--end of exams--

i went back to nh last friday, but i thought i was on the moon instead.
first things first, i've met my idol. yes, i supposed she was happy to see me around. she's busy and all, yea, things are hard on her now. those school admin stuff are all pilling up and her classes' results aren't pleasing. it's those work politics that's gonna drive people nuts, i guess. and also family stuff. idol's hanging in there, i know. it's stressful, even though it seems like she's laughing everything off. i'm givin' her support physically and mentally. i'll definitely try to be there to help or render my expertise in charts (-.-) when she needs my help.

sad stuff, i didn't get to see mrs.tan yesterday. i really think she's super super busy as well. i did sms her on thursday. i've set my heart in hunting down mrs.tan in school. i'm taking a bet that i'll succeed. hahas.

idol and i went home together. that conversation set me thinking. was there something wrong in which we didn't know, or was there nothing wrong at all? i worry, cos the lack of knowledge is usually the biggest problem in solving this issue. i wont wanna sound mean when i bring out my point. i've been letting the entire conversation run through my head a few times already. i must ensure that it wont hurt or harm anyone in anyway, be it verbally or physically.

may the force be with you. and me.

.under-estimated.

2008-08-09T13:36:00.003+08:00

wp test is a goner. i am only kinda confident with the question on tables and the one with pictures and words. the one with frames and survey and the javascript is gone. totally gone. could remember some and forget some, i guess i forgot more than those that i could remember. hai.
bizca grades are totally rubbish. i really cant do bizca. i think that it likely to pull down my gpa. what the...
econs quiz was trash. it's the worst thing that i've ever experienced since i've stepped into poly. there was simply no luck, i couldnt even guess the answers. lucky huiling and lingli could guess them right and pass it with a 50. hai. i've got nothing more to say.
moral of the story? i think i'm dumb. i study nothing but trash. so i'm gonna forget about studying for itl and math. since there is almost no difference between studying and not studying. so why kill my brain cells or boil my brain juices? nah, spend my time sleeping, eating and watching olympics would be a much better choice.
went to town with mum for her check-up and to get her watch repaired. this is the first time in which accompained mum for check-up, hahas. i'm kinda proud of myself. visited the place which i was born too ((:
i hope the class chalet can run smoothly. and that junwei would book 2 rooms insted of 1. hahas. let us not talk about budget chalets man :x hahas.
i am yearning to get out into the sun for games. hahas, i miss netball. i miss those times in nh, which i would play netball during recess and lunch. woah. i need exercise, seriously. ((:

.under-estimated.

2008-08-05T14:55:00.010+08:00

3 things:

1. HAPPI B'DAE TO CJM! [cheers to our many many years of friendship! may u be happy and healthy always, stay cheerful and fun-loving! love ya, muaxx <33>

2. CONGRATS TO MSY!
- for being in the NATIONAL TEAM for YOG2010! [train hard and study hard! do our family proud dear! <33>

3. congrats to myself for finishing all projects. i'm finally 'free' enough to get more sleep and the busy busy week is finally over!!! ((:

p.s. msy, i'm so so so superbly proud of you.. <33>

.under-estimated.

2008-07-20T12:26:00.013+08:00

i was supposed to blog yesterday, but my stupid internet aint working fine. i've got this happy smile that is in me, since yesterday evening. i feel like i'm going to explode soon, cos i've finally seen my dearest idol! whee..

inno had their f1 challenge at convention center yesterday. econs ended at 5pm (i was praying that tutorial would end early ): but it didnt.) i rushed down to convention center, hoping to catch zhenguo and co. before they left. (it's been a long time i've seen them.) the best surprise was when i saw my idol sitting there when i was climbing up the steps to where the inno guys were sitting. it just didnt strike me that idol was there. i walked to where idol was sitting and i squatted down behind her. i think she didnt realise that i was there until she turned around.

i somehow have this feeling that idol was kinda shocked, surprised, happy to see me. but i didnt talk much at first, cos i didnt know if i was disturbing idol or not and i dont know what was the right approach. it just felt awkward talking, when we've not spoken to each other for so long. anw, i was lucky that we were on the right key, we hit off just fine soon after that. there was so much to update idol about. mdm asked how was school for me (she was surprised to hear that i was struggling to stay alive), mdm also asked about friends, ("you ar, forever one lar.. no friends.." ((: mdm's been saying this since she's known me) apparently she thought that i had no friends, but i told her truthfully that i should see her, since i miss her so much. idol got nothing to say after that, she merely smiled. ((: we also discussed a little on politics in school, i could tell that she wasnt happy (somehow), i just felt so sorry for her. if only i was still in nh, i guess she wouldnt feel so lonely about being in that situation herself. (after all, i'm usually on her side in such circumstances.)
i still remember those days in nh when we leaned against each other for support while walking, but we usually dont do so when there were other students around. but there wasnt anything of such yesterday, hahas, mayb because we kinda miss each other? yes, i really miss those days. those punching bag days. idol brings a spark, that leads to a flickering flame and then to a strong burning fire, which brightens my life! ((:
i wish i could help her, since she's got so much on her mind.
if only i was a bit older, perhaps i would be more mature and might be able to help her lighten her load. (just like what i do at home.)

anw, (24th july)...
happy birthday to ocean! my smelly darling is finally 5 (dog) years old!
ocean loves to camp under my bed.
ocean fills the bedroom with his scent -.-
ocean loves to wet his fur.
ocean is one dirty dog.
ocean loves to give me "that look".
ocean misses me when i go to school.
ocean likes to own my bed.
ocean is a smelly boy boy.
ocean enjoys sneaking around.
ocean is afraid of the rain.
ocean loves to put his head out of the window.
ocean is so greedy, he eats almost everything (except garlic).
ocean is my lover boy (i think!) :p

happy birthday darling!! ((:

i did a really funny quiz that day.. anw, the results seem pretty convincing. hahas.

Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:
Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.

Your views on education:
You may not like to study but you have many practical ideas. You listen to your own instincts and tend to follow your heart, so you will probably end up with an unusual job.

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:
You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:
You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

seem somewhat true..

.under-estimated.

2008-07-11T21:08:00.003+08:00

nothing much to blog about today.
i just didnt talk much today, i dno why.
i was listening to almost everybody i met today, except when i was doing bizca project.
tired? maybe, i guess i was more towards being moody ):
lousy mood.

the rest of this post has the same content as the previous post.
i miss idol - to the core of mother earth ):

.under-estimated.

100th post dedication: dead famous.

2008-07-09T23:25:00.005+08:00

why are we such god-crazy busy people??!!
it's going to be a month since i've last seen my idol. i cant stand this! i used to see her on a daily basis. and now, it has turned into a once-a-month thing! it's so not fair!

now i've this post all about u on my blog. u're dead famous man. yes, just like an idol would be.

i remember when the goodbye hug u gave (outside the go) before u left for the states some 4 years ago.
i remember u comforting me when i lost it during njrc 2 years ago and when we camped out at the special rooms.
i remember u complaining about my tie before i went for the moe presentation.
i remember u watching me from the 5th floor on the rehearsal day for the sg opening. (i have this string feeling that u were watching me from the same place on the actual day)
i remember that i had nearly stayed over at ur house some 2 years ago.
i remember those killer looks u gave me when i did something crazy.
i am terribly sorry that i made u upset, for i remembered that u were on the verge of tears while telling me to work hard. it was that morning after morning assembly.

i miss those times which i did my work at ur place.
i miss those times when u so enjoyed whacking me hard.
i miss those times which we couldnt walk straight and stumble into each other's path.
i miss those times when i could ride a bus with u and take a longer route to get home.
i miss those times which i looked for you during breaks.
i miss those times where i seek comfort at ur desk when i was down.
i miss those times when u had me hiding when we saw him coming.
i miss those times where i could run errands for u.
i miss those times when u took me as ur punching bag.
i miss those times when we gossiped.
i miss those times when u were there for me.
):

everything seemed as though they happened yesterday. haiz.
this could have been a longer post.
there's just so much memories...

i only saw u from a distance when i was on my way home, while u were on urs.
):
freak freak freak.
oh gawdness, u dno how much impact u've had on me man.
i miss my idol BADly...

.under-estimated.

2008-07-09T21:08:00.002+08:00

yesterday was so tiring. woke up early to ensure that i'd be on time for itl tutorial. but i was super early. goodness. reached np bus stop around 7.27a.m., when my lesson is at 8a.m. i was so glad that i saw acl and ruth at the bus stop! hahas, it's been a long time since we've chatted (: missed those days..
itl tutorial was totally rubbish. the class didnt bring laptops, so we had no choice but to listen the lecturer. and he complained when we were actually paying attention! he's so ughhh.. when we are with our laptops, he complains that we keep staring at the screen. and when we are without our laptops, he complains that we keep staring at him blankly. goodness. if we dont stare at him, who do we stare at? crazy man. really dno what he actually wants.
anw, we had lunch at canteen 3. its my first time at canteen 3. the choice of food there is different from those at canteen 1, 2 and 4. i like canteen 3, for it's fish soup stall, roti prata stall and some other stalls which i dont remember.
carried on with port visit. it was a little boring. not as good as i had expected it to be. of cos, the best part of the trip was to keep snapping pictures (of ourselves). i did take a few pictures, but i guess i was still a little camera shy at first. almost the whole trip was on coach, seems as thou i'm on a tour in malaysia. hahas. i enjoyed the sea views and the blue sky. it just seems so good not to see any high rise buildings around. hahas. sad thing was that we didnt manage to walk around the jurong port.
went to bowl with larry, junwei, huiling, yanting and lingli. my freaking right hand was so so weak. after like 6 throws, my ball kept getting into the gutter, and yanting was like 'aiyo'. so sad. useless right hand. played 2 games. by the end of it, the vein on my right hand was like bulging. omg. i think i need to learn to use the right strength. otherwise, i'll never be able to do incline or bowl or carry heavy things again. hai.

today was crazy.
called up hp and asked about my laptop. this customer service guy was speaking in some accent which i really had a hard time trying to understand. i cant stand customer service officers who speak with such accent. the guy was telling me to do some hard disk scan or test. this test took 77 mins!! it nearly made me late for class. by the time the test was done, it was 11.40a.m. gosh.
called singtel after that. asked why my broadband had to do dial-up. the singtel guy asked me to do some check on the network devices. things seem ok. then i realised that it was my lan card that was not working properly. anw, the internet is working fine now, except for faulty lan card.
called sony again. told them about the problem of my phone. keeps restarting, blacking out and telling me to insert sim or show me inactive sim. gosh. someone called me from sony around 11a.m. told me to go down to service center again. this time round was to check my memory stick. they suspect that there is something wrong with the files in my memory stick. i'll be calling up sony to check again, since i've got some confidential photos which i wont wna show some people which i dont know.
these 3 calls made me really late for school. i was to leave house at 11.45a.m. i was still home at 12.10p.m. gosh. had no choice but to bus down to cck and then train down to clem. cabbed down to school from clem. it's been a long time since i've took a cab. it's like $0.20 per metre!! by the time i reached class, i was shocked to see that i was the only one around. i thought i had missed some 'today is e-learning day' or 'no econs lesson' email. lecturer arrived at class 5 mins after i reached class. goodness. i cant imagine him being so 'early'. kinda wasted my $6 cab fare.

daddy was kinda scowling when he found out that more than half of his $10 was gone in a day.
i'm so pissed that i lost so much money in just 2 days. first the bowling, then the cab. i wonder how much i'm gonna lose tmr.

yuck.
gimme back my MONEY!

.under-estimated.

2008-07-05T19:41:00.002+08:00

erjie is dancing away at ndp. yy's also at marina, cos today is her NE show. come to think of it, i remember i missed my NE show when i was in primary 5. hai. sad stuff which happened like 6 years ago. because the school's official opening clashed with the NE show, i had to forgo the chance and did some weirdo line-dancing at the school's opening. hahas.

daddy went for his office's family day at some changi place which i dno. mummy and i were supposed to go, but daddy commented that transport was a problem and that we have to rush back to fetch yy and erjie, and all the other crappy excuses. there was simply no room for discussion or suggestion, goodness, i simply don't understand why there is a need to say no so quickly. mummy doesn't seem so enthu about it either. hai. i really cannot understand these two old lovebirds.
i'm feeling kinda bored. i had so badly wanted to go somewhere or anywhere with mummy in the afternoon. but, she wasn't feeling well. uhh. it's not the first time, i sometimes suspect that it isn't really her not feeling well, it could be some psychological blockage, since she always reject to going out on weekends. the excuses were almost identical each week, it's either she has lots of household chores that she very very badly want to complete, or she wants to mark yy's assesments or she just don't want to go out. it's kinda mentally implanted that she should stay at home. i guess its bad for her, really.

so i've been home the whole day today. really really bored. couldn't decide what to have for dinner, cos it's either pizza or kfc. bored to the extend of deciding to cook porridge for dinner. god. mummy was complaining about 4d just now. hai. i can't understand what's the big deal about striking 4d. c'mon, it's like a one out of a hundred (or even more) chance to strike it. i seriously believe in working harder and earning the fruit of my labour, rather than depending on lady luck. i think i can't convince them about investing on 4d weekly, why throw ur hard earned money back to where it came from? (i've got nothing more to say.)

reformatted my laptop. this precious piece of rubbish crashed twice (in a row) on wed and it crashed again on the following day. i seriously wna sell this lappy away and buy a new one. after reformatting, i realised that i've lost a few of my programs, eww. crimson editor is gone. microsoft office is gone. msn is gone. avg is gone. and the best bit is that the wireless ain't looking good. i can't access to quite a few websites (for dno what reason) and the msn that i downloaded can't work! dart blast.

everything seems wrong today. i wonder what else i can do to make it right again.
yuck yuck yuck.
i'm complaining here because i don't have my youth day. it's not fair.
someone tell me the age range for youths!
i'm only 17 ok?
grrr..

.under-estimated.

2008-07-01T21:48:00.005+08:00

daddy's first day of work as 1WO. ((:

i'm so happy for him. ((:

oh, anw. i think i ate some wooden shaving, that was found together with my ice-cream stick, in my ice-cream. goodness!

.under-estimated.

2008-07-01T20:45:00.003+08:00

stayed up till 3a.m. to "study" itl last night. hai. staying up the whole night was totally crap. it's as good as being useless. slept on the sofa last night, for i was so afraid of being unable to get up and be given a "L" for being late for class. i felt like a zombie after i got up. i nearly vomited and felt like fainting while i was washing up. goodness. imagine if i were to just faint and suffocate in the bathroom. i might just die (and skip itl test!).

anw, itl test is finally over. i'm (almost) sure i'll fail the test. totally crap. i left a 10m question totally blank. the question was unexpected, very unexpected. :x for the mrp thing, i only filled in like around 10 "cells" out of the entire page of cells. so, yea, 25m fly away too. the only thing i remembered doing correctly was the 7R's. period. yes, itl sucks. i'd rather do a social studies test. :x

went to the library after the brain-bursting test. my brain felt so much better after the test, so much more un-clogged and much fresher than ever. the 6 of us (me, lingli, huiling, jean, chiahwa, meixiu) were happily trying to rush to finish wp when huiling's phone rang. guess what. mengting called to say that there was itl prac lesson. freak. there went our hopes of completing wp project. taa-dah. walked back (again) to blk 46, from the library. sian.
tried a new program during prac. it's some logistics simulation thing. really cool stuff. facts and figures were generated with a click of a button. it was like a make-believe thing about moving goods with constrains of the weather, transportation and stuff. nice stuff really, might consider looking for this software.

wp lesson was ok. i'm lucky because my index number was not picked at random. (i think i'm no. 9, i can't remember.) realised that i did my wp wrongly. god. i'm a lazy pig who intelligently decided to combine units d, e and f together. this definitely saved alot of time and effort. but, lecturer wanted us to do it unit by unit. so, redo everything. i'm super not willing and the deadline is on this friday.

there is still econs quiz 2 and econs tutorial 3 question 5 and 6 to be done. plus bizca unit i, j and k. plus math project final presentation due on the week after next. plus itl project powerpoint presentation also due on the week after next. plus on-going cats project. plus a econs project. plus a bizca project.
so i'm hoping to do as much wp as possible. so that i won't have to rush or die in the process of rushing. i don't wna vomit or feel faint again. eww.

every single piece of work is waiting for its turn to be handed in.
and they are all queuing up behind me.
all i can see is that:
the queue is getting longer and longer..

i'm really very very tired.
i dno what i'm blogging anymore.

.under-estimated.

2008-06-29T21:50:00.005+08:00

i'm suddenly very afraid of blood, for dno what reason.
my legs feel jelly once i hear the word, or even see the word.
i can't take it when gruesome body parts are mentioned.
i thought i would die when mummy told me about those kidney thieves in Philippines.
mummy repeated the entire story thrice. freak, once to msy, once to erjie and once to me.
i really on the verge of vomiting.
lucky i didn't get that clinic assistant job. phew.

i think i'll die doing my math project, cos i'm idea-dead.

i'm so smart. huiling knows why.
i seriously dno what i'm doing.

can i just get 0 for everything?
i'm getting lazy, i lack the drive.
eww.

wp is more than just crap.
i'd rather do a piece of art.
no wonder mrs. chang said programming isn't my thing.

.under-estimated.

2008-06-28T20:09:00.002+08:00

math was surprisingly ok today. i entered class around 8.45++, and was amazed to find myself to be the third to arrive in class. wow. anw, did trigo in class today. i think i kinda missed trigo. those toa cah soh with additional toppings of quad 1, quad 2, quad 3 and quad 4. long time no see trigo friends ((: erm, despite the fact that i got a D7 for amath, i still felt comfortable with trigo, amazing. the best part was to name the ASTC the wrong way, great stuff. it's supposed to be named anti-clockwise, but huiling and i (being pro pp) named it clockwise. so teacher came around and asked, "so this is your 2nd quadrant ar? you sure?" omg. so malu, malu like crazy. tsk tsk, no face to admit that i've had taken amath before. a simple disgrace to the subject. hahas.

met mummy, daddy and yy for lunch at jec. yy left for tuition at 1pm. the 3 of us continued eating for a while more. (i felt like a glutton, i think i ate one and a half share. omg.) took shuttle to imm after that. bought jiajia's bathroom slippers and some household stuff from daiso. bought some stationery at popular. mummy bought some newbalance shoes too, it was so tempting. i had wanted to get this beige colour pair at 68 bucks, but since i need sandals badly, i just did away with the idea. daddy wanted to get those casual shoes, but he was like "the sole of the shoes a bit funny lar.. i think it's a bit hard.." aiya. this running man ar, i just told him to "stick to your running shoes la, warrant.."
then went to see my sandals, but sadly i didn't see anything that i like. so i suggested to go back to lot one to check out world of sports, since i've some vivid memory of seeing something that i like there. we left imm around 4 plus and went back to fetch yy at her tuition centre. the four of us went back to lot one. went to wos to see, indeed i found the pair which i really want to get. really really nice. but mummy said it was too ex. erm, apparently that pair cost 70 bucks, with nice yellowy orangey colour straps. there was another model going at 50++ bucks. i didn't really pay attention to that, since the colour seemed a bit dull. since i still couldn't decide and mummy still needs time to consider if she wna spoil me with such ex sandals, we went for early dinner.

as usual, glutton mak surfaced. laksa plus one and a half prata and some dessert. yar, and after that i still didn't feel anything. weird. anw, i thought i had eaten enough as in monetary terms, so i just convinced myself that i was "full". horrid. then i discussed with mummy about the sandals issue. somehow or rather, i felt mean lar. its ridiculous that i spend 70 bucks of daddy's hard earned money on some sandals. daddy don't even have such ex sandals! so its really not right. so i asked if i could spend like at most 50 bucks on those num sandals. mummy said ok. err, but come to think of it, i top up a few more dollars, i can buy the teva sandals, its much more worth it and lasting.
saw this 4 bucks poor bear at kiddy palace. omg. i was really into the one with pink shirt. 4 bucks, super budget. daddy highlighted to me that there was no more parking lots available on my bed, i was like "nevermind lar, i slim down got space liao". daddy was about to hand me 4 bucks to fulfil my dream when mummy gave her look. fullstop. end of conver. put back the bear and keep the money. lol!

i this kpo pig sneaked back into wos to see the 50++ bucks sandals again. actually it's not that bad. it's quite nice also, just that yes, it's dark blue with a bit of white, so it's not so easy to dirty. so i decided to get that pair. asked for my size then the salesperson came back with light blue sandals of my size. he said it's new stock, just came in the afternoon. lol. (he said that there was only the dark blue ones for this model just now. rubbish.) i tried on the sandals, hahas, looks not bad. the grip is so so, cos it's new. it's just a matter of time to season this sandals. hahas, mummy and daddy really bought it for me! whee.
i didn't ask daddy why he agreed to buy, for all i know he might just say, "because you naughty, never help mummy mop floor and keep talking back.." (freak lar, it's not the first time i get this kinda reply.) i think i know what i should do to show that i appreciate the sandals. ((:

i'm back home now, blogging. and am going to figure out wp ploject after this. yy is trying out mummy's newbalance shoes. we've got this ronald mcdonald (with green and grey shoes) at home, yy's foot is super big. really. seems as though she's flopping around with track shoes. diao. i know it sounds cool, but its a hazard mentally and physically, so please do not try this at home.

erjie is still dancing away. apparently today is preview for ndp, but erjie didn't bring her costume. so yea, if it's a preview, it's gonna be cool. "costume-less" preview. hahas. anw, waiting for erjie to call and come home. might be going out tmr to bugis or (hopefully) not.
i need time to do work and study for itl, before i fail or die or something. yucks.

congrats to huiling on her successful hunt for og in bugis. (-.-)

.under-estimated.

2008-06-27T21:01:00.003+08:00

i know it's the gss period, so i wna get a pair of TEVA sandals! dno how many thousand bucks it will cost me (or mummy or daddy).
muahahahas.

anw, i did myself proud. i've been walking to the mrt from home and home from the mrt station for the past one week! i must have saved quite a bit of money. hahas.

math lecture tmr for 3 hours solid.
before i drop dead, i'm loading my bag with snacks, to keep me awake.

0715 morning call.
dart blast.

.under-estimated.

2008-06-27T20:21:00.003+08:00

i am really tired already. there is so much work still.

(IN ORDER OF IMPORTANCE):
- *itl test (chap 1-3)
- *wp ploject (unit a-f, unit h)
- *math project
- *bizca unit I (some real life independent challenge thing)
- *math tutorial 7
- econs tutorial 3 qn.5 & 6 (to submit under e-learning)
- *wp reviews (unit a-f, unit h)
- econs project
- bizca project
- cats project (which is so so like IIA, reminds me of inno.)
- *bizca casegrader 5 & 6 (due today?)

i'm a good girl. i'm trying to finish up all my work, despite the fact that more projects are coming in. i know its depressing, but i'm trying still. everyone in class is like uh-huh. doomed.
if only we could "one die, all die together". hahas. "one don't do, all don't do". (i think i'm thinking too much.)

i finished bizca casegrader with unsatifying results. i'm totally depressed and heartbroken. everyone else can get a 100/100 easily. i'm still like the 80-90 range. i'm lousy. i'm lousy. i suck. i suck. yucks. i hate myself for being such a noob, or maybe more than a noob. i hate this. i really really think that bizca has something against me, cos i don't feel as thou i have anything against bizca. so it's bizca's fault. isit? or isit mine? i'm sick, i'm sick. sick of getting 80++. please don't make me hate u, bizca.

i'm hoping to finish math project by tonight. so that i can afford to go for lunch tmr afternoon with mummy and daddy, instead of staying in school to finish math project. and i wna clear my itl test asap. the notes are totally crap (so is the lecturer), it's nearly as good as being useless. needless to say, both my class' advisor and lecturer didn't give any tips to my class. sucky. and apparently my class' advisor (who is otherwise known as the "form teacher" for my class) did give tips to her students in her other class. omg. talk about fairness. there is probably none at all.

other than depressing bizca and itl, i didn't go back to nh today. it's the first time in like a month and a half, in which i didn't go back. i guess the new exco is doing fine. anw, i saw mrs.chang at her bus stop on wednesday afternoon. i was in my bus heading to clementi, and she was at the opp bus stop, "so near yet so far". i miss my idol alot alot. gosh. i don't know why, but yes, i really really miss talking and chatting with her. it's hogging in my brain. how i wish we are both not so busy. at least we could afford some time like the 'good old days'. i really really wna see her! look, this idol has such an impact on her beloved number 1 fan. oops.

i'm starting to miss my sciences very very much. it's now that i finally learn to appreciate them. omg. isn't it a bit too late? i miss challenging chem, beloved bio and psyco physics. yar, especially doing physics revision, those were the days...

if only i could turn back time...
i would give anything to study physics again.
there is still this undying passion, despite the failure in attaining good results (i think).

i'm not losing my drive yet.
i've promised to try my best.
and i will not disappoint you.

.under-estimated.

2008-06-26T00:02:00.003+08:00

my neck hurts.
my arm hurts.
my wrists hurts.
my last finger hurts.
my sole hurts.
my whole body hurts :X

i think i need a full body guard.
and i wan my pair of sandals!!

2008-06-25T15:51:00.004+08:00

i was so so so lucky. i didnt screw up my math common test. thank god. i must have prayed hard enough. hahas. anw, the result was an average only, so its not good enough. judging for my talent, i guess i could have done better, much better. anw, without those careless mistakes, i could have easily hit a 80, plus a little bit more of intelligence and no freak-out-during-exams-symptoms, i could have neared 90. goddarnit. like what i have promised mummy, i'll try harder. who knows one day i might just get my dream come true? hahas. (mayb i'm thinking too much).

had this mini, short and sweet talk with mummy this morning. kinda woke me up. yea, all those getting into uni stuff. its so so so so so so so so so so so competitive nowadays. so much criteria to fulfil, must be an all rounded student. which means, we must know everything, can do everything, dare to try everything and be pro at everything. its so not right for us, since we are still students. somewhat like must "fight for your own survival" kinda thing. "student war - the way to make school days miserable". i seriously dont like the idea of it. gosh. imagine having to "fight" and "over take" your friends in everything, and being unable to share your "secrets to/of success" with them, what can be more horrible and evil than this? omg. i seriously think we are such poor things.

i missed those days of falling asleep in class, and having teacher to walk up to my desk to "wake me up". i'm lacking the self discipline. i think i need to do something about this. i seem to want the teacher to catch me doing other stuff during lesson, and give me a good whack on the head (to wake up my bloody idea), and probably after that, i would listen attentively in class and stop all other activities. i guess i wanna put in extra effort in staying focused during lessons. grrr.

trying to redo all my wp reviews, scamming my way thru them. hope to be able to score full marks for all the reviews, except review e. hai. i'm trying, but one review is already taking so much time. i'm only done with review a so far. so there is still review b, c, d and h. i am not going to redo review e (cos i dno whats the fill-in-the-blank answers) and review f (which i tyco-ed full marks). there's just so much work this week (watch):
- *itl test (chap 1-3)
- *wp reviews (unit a-f, unit h)
- *wp ploject (unit a-f, unit h)
- *bizca unit I (some real life independent challenge thing)
- *bizca casegrader 5 (dno due when, uhh..)
- bizca project (with teeli)
- *math tutorial 7
- *math project (with steph, nadiah)
- econs tutorial 3 qn.5 & 6 (to submit under e-learning)
- econs project (with steph)
i know there are more to come, or i could have even missed out some. gosh. but these are good enough to kill me. those with (*) are the ones which i have to rush through and finish them during the weekend. omg. i doubt i still have time for family outing this weekend.

.under-estimated.

credits to akk ((:

2008-06-23T21:32:00.004+08:00

i was browsing thru blogs last night and i saw this super weird?/fun?/cool? quiz on akk's blog. hahas. so i decided to try it out and see if it was really true..

Set your music player on shuffle. Press forward for each question. Use the song title as the answer to the question even if they don't make sense. You'll be surprised though... NO CHEATING!

How are you feeling today?
I Love You - Barney and friends (yes, be loved (: )

Will you get far in life?
忘记你我做不到 - 张学友 (can't forget what happened yesterday, today, tmr! )

How do your friends see you?
一人一半 - 881 soundtrack (friends mah.. )

Will you get married?
Bet on it - HSM 2 soundtrack (i bet i'll! who says i'll stay in a nunnery? )

What is your best friend's theme song?
Do your ears hang low - Barney and friends (no no.. we've got no ears to listen in class ((: )

What is the story of your life?
All for one - High School Musical 2 soundtrack (that's right! one die all die together! )

What was/is high school like?
Sexy, Naughty, Bitchy - Tata Young (err. nothing of that sort. )

How can you get ahead in life?
I Don't Dance - HSM 2 soundtrack (yea, erjie always tell mi not to dance.. )

What is the best thing about your friends?
You are the Music in Me- HSM 2 soundtrack (i can't believe it! do they make me sing?? )

What is today going to be like?
Under the Sea - The Little Mermaid soundtrack (didnt go swimming today ): sobbs.. )

What is in store for this weekend?
思念是一种病 - 张震岳 (omg. so so true!)

What song describes you?
Never Underestimate a Girl - Vanessan Anne Hudgens (right, dunch underestimate mi! )

To describe your grandparents?
Irreplaceable - Beyonce (hahas, i'm the one and only <33>

How is your life going?
When You Say Nothing At All - Ronan Keating (i dun say, u dno.. )

What song will be playing at your funeral?
Pocketful of Sunshine - Natasha Beddingfield (even if i die, the sun still shines (: )

How does the world see you?
Gotta Go My Own Way - HSM 2 soundtrack (turn left, turn right )

Will you have a happy life?
You Drive Me Crazy - Britney Spears (erm, mayb not happy. but crazy.. )

What do your friends really think of you?
没完没了- TVB 两妻时代主题曲 (i've got no ends.. muahahas.. )

Do people secretly lust after you?
Fabulous - High School Musical 2 soundtrack (arghhhs.. )

How can I make myself happy?
分手总要在雨天 - 张学友 (yar, stay single and carefree.. rainy days make mi happy.. )

What should you do with your life?
Work This Out - High School Musical 2 soundtrack (do more excercise?? )

Will you ever have children?
Everyday - High School Musical 2 soundtrack (err. i might not even be that fertile -.- )

this is a crzay quiz. hahas. even thou somethings seem true ((:

.under-estimated.

2008-06-23T20:14:00.003+08:00

after working late into the night and wrapping up the last bits during bizca today, itl project is finally done and completed. (but dno if it was done correctly-gosh!).

omg.

my legs turn jelly whenever i hear that the results for math common test is gonna be shown during tutorial tmr. i feel as though my soul is leaving me. my hands feel weightless, and my heart... i cant feel my heart. its hollow in there.

omg.

i was having a real bad headache in class today (during math lecture). maybe it was because the lecture was 3 hours long, maybe the air-con wasnt cold enough, or maybe i was plain tired (cos i slept at 2a.m. to finish itl project).

but i guess the main reason is actually the itl class test that is supposed to be held tmr during itl tutorial (1st two periods). my soul was really finding its way out of my body, when the thought of studying for itl, the thought of sitting through the itl test with a blank mind, the thought of flung-ing the itl test and the thought of facing my parents started surfacing outta my brilliant mind.

the most amazing thing that i did today, was to call up the itl lecturer to ask him about the itl test. lingli, steph, nadiah, teeli were standing next to me when i made the phone call. it was hilarious. omg. the guy on the phone just didnt sound like the itl lecturer! it sounded much better than the voice that we always hear during itl. hahas. anw, the lecturer was nice, kind, generous enough to postpone the test till next week! (3 cheers!!!)
guess what. after that phone call was made, i started to feel lesser and lesser tension at my brain. the headache was slowly fading away. (phew. i told u, tests could easily bring me so much harm.)
however, tutorial tmr morning would be as usual. then there would be a 3-hr break, followed by wp (yea!!! i missed the adorable lessons!!!), and lastly math.

i can predict math tutorial tmr. its gonna be like dementors surfaced from the harry potter series, to suck away all my happiness. it's worse than being dead. i would rather die than receive the results, really. one thing to be happy about, is that math are the last lesson of the day, at least it wouldnt spoil my day.
if my math results are gonna be sucky and yucky (which is super likely), the only thing that would probably go wrong is that i cant play the guitar properly during guitar tmr evening. or worse, i might just go home straight after math and sleep away the disappointing unhappiness.

i still frett about results.
its bad.
its phobias of the past.

.under-estimated.

2008-06-22T19:33:00.002+08:00

i have this big mosquito kiss on my wrist, and it's so disturbing when i type on my lappie!

i can never ever get an A for bizca!
either i have something against that module, or that module have something against me, or i cant read english-the bizca way!

god darn it.

.under-estimated.

2008-06-21T22:13:00.003+08:00

i am tired.
i am sick of school work.
what am i supposed to do? apparently ITL is due on tmr's tmr.
freak freak freak. i need help ar, send me somebody from the above. pls!

anw, erjie is back. but she's at marina rehearsing for NDP again. hai. i don't really get to see and talk to erjie much ): sad..

went to the cj place to collect my phone today (alone). my k630i is finally fixed, but the shortcut button is not working! what the hell is wrong ar? i might never buy a ericsson again. zzz.

i'm worried.

what if i fail u again? i've been trying and trying, like i've promised. it's not working. i think i need some brain-washing again. whack me hard. whack me harder.

wake up my bloody idea!

.under-estimated.

2008-06-18T14:32:00.002+08:00

erjie called back during her lunch time today <33>

i'm still tired as usual.
i'm hungry.
i'm still having a headache.

seems like i'm dying soon.

2008-06-18T11:17:00.004+08:00

Instruction : Remove one question from the above and add in your personal question. Make it a total of 20 questions and tag 8 people. List them at the end of the post. Notify them at their cbox that they’ve been tagged. Whoever who does the tags will have blessing from all.

1)At what age do you wish to get married?
26? 27? 28? 29? 30? hahas. depends on when the fate comes (:

2)Study hard or Play hard?
both. even thou we should play harder sometimes (:

3)Who is the person you trust most?
mummy <33

4)Do you think you have enough confidence?
i guess so.. is being thick-skinned counted? (:

5)If you have a dream come true , what would it be?
i wna keep 5 dogs! and wear shades someday ((:

6)What is your idea of a friend?
truthful, trustworthy, understanding (: i bet there's more.hahas.

7)What is your goal this year?
sleep, play hard, eat well, dun gain weight! spend more time with family.

8)Do you believe in eternity love?
i guess so, it will come someday. hahas (:

9)If you have all the time and money in the world, what would you do?
bring my family for a tour, start my own one-stop pet care centre with yy and erjie. and give mummy the rest of the money. (:

10)If time were to unwind , what would you want to change?
i wna spend more time in nh. with mrs. chang and mrs. tan. <33

11) Would you like the person whom you love make the initiative to kiss/hug you?
errr. i'm not even attached! actually mummy take the initiative to hug me lah.

12)What feelings you hate the most?
(DOSS) deprive of sleep syndrome, headaches, sole aches.

13) What is your childhood ambition?
teacher. lawyer. artist. homemaker! hahas. i really respect mummy's job (:

14)Do you believe in love at first sight?
i think it works. somehow. (:

15)What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
other than myself, its my family.

16)Who do you hope to be always behind you, supporting you?
mummy, daddy, erjie, yy, ocean, ah boy, biao ge, msy, ngakei, enen.. all in my big family (: and of cos, my idol and her woman (:

17)People who are going to be hated by you?
i prefer to stay neutral. enough of all the likes, dislikes.

18)Describe the person who tagged you in five words.
lingli, u challenge mi seh ((:

19)Do you deserve to be loved?
i dno. but depends to be loved by who (:

20)The 5 things i badly wna do.
-complete school work -.-
-invest a hundered bucks on a pair of sandals (i cant stand painful soles.)
-meet up for lunch with idol and her woman (:
-6B '03 chalet/sentosa outing ((:
-for holidays to carry on. <33

8 people: angelina, erjie, jinghui, canida, fangqi, nick, dixon, jinhong.

2008-06-17T20:22:00.005+08:00

i wna a PROPER pair of SANDALS!

definitely no army type. pls.

2008-06-17T13:53:00.006+08:00

lots of things happened yesterday. just wanna mention that i challenged myself and pushed endurance to the limit.

i woke up at 4.45a.m. in the morning to send erjie off in school for her sec 3 camp at malaysia. we were nearly the only "parents" there to see the whole situation. omg. parents nowadays are not that worried about not having their children by their sides. i mean, some really don't bother about not seeing their children for the next 3 to 4 days. i seriously don't like the idea of the camp at malaysia, since malaysia is rather chaotic, same reason to why i don't step into johore. anw, erjie's bus left school at around 7.15a.m. it was sad to see her go, but i guess, erjie is comfortable with her friends for the trip. hahas. so yea, it's at least better to know that she has company.

left nh around 7.15 a.m. mummy, yy and i strolled to clementi in search of breakfast. hahas. slowly ate our way to 8a.m. at vari-nice. strolled into clementi's ntuc at 8.10a.m. walked around ntuc for the aircon and left the place with a pack of sweet potatoes and towels around 8.55a.m.

then we took the mrt down to jurong east. walked through imm to get to the cj place to get my sony repaired. (yes, finally after like 3 or 4 months) the customer service centre was at level 7. hahas, the place was rather empty, maybe because it was in the morning. i seriously doubt the reliability of sony phones now, hahas.

went back to imm after sending in the phone. started the whole imm trip at daiso. walked around hoping to find some really nice stuff to get. hahas. i got a pack of something that is used to bundle wires together, this is some amazing innovation of the jap people. really cool. (i'm actually using it on my mouse now.) we went for lunch after daiso, that was when i realiszed the exisitance of a rooftop playground at imm. after lunch, we went to fila. i wanted to get back my bag asap. i sent in my bag for repair, cos the zip was spolit within a week of its purchase. omg. anw, to realize that the zip couldn't be repaired. so, yea, i was pretty upset bout it (for that bag's color combi was superbly nice) in the end, i changed for a new bag. the current bag's color combi is light blue on dark blue. i really miss my maroon on light grey bag (sobbs.) i saw this sling pouch at fila, which i felt was pretty good (in terms of money and quality). i had so much wanted to buy it. but i didn't take an implusive approach. i went to royal sporting house to see if there was a better deal, but only find myself to be disappointed after visiting rsh. then i went back to fila again. i was about to decide on the color, when i saw world of sports. god freak. so i left fila and went to wos. sadly to say, there wasn't anything like that sling pouch at wos. so i went back again to fila. the lady who was working at the shop was like o.O (it was the 3rd time that i went back to the shop.) omg. then mummy told me to stop thinking about other pouches. so i put my heart into buying the black pouch. its pretty nice, really. the saddest thing was that i have to pay for this pouch myself. hopefully mummy might change her mind about getting it for me. hahas. mummy fulfilled yy's wish of going to giant. so we walked around giant for like an hour.

daddy called to say that he wanted us to accompany him to go collect his uniform at tiong bahru. so we strolled around imm somemore to wait for daddy. then there was some miscomm or something. goodness. we wasted quite a bit of time to figure things out.anw, cut the craps. we went to tiong to help daddy collect his uniform. i was dead tired. my feet were hurting very badly. i think i really need new sandals, sandals with proper soles, with proper grip. gosh. we had to walk a long way from the mrt station to the tailor shop. the tailor shop is apparently meant to tailor clothes for the saf. the boss of the tailor shop was darn tao and ignorrant. he had really bad attitude. i couldn't stand him, but i was just too tired to argue. rude man. yucks. walked back to tiong mrt. and took a train back to cck. rushed home and did a quick wash, changed into fresh clothes, grabbed my pouch and rushed down to yew mei green.

last night was primary school's class gathering cum bbq. i guess i was tired to talk much, just had the energy to laugh, walk and eat. hahas. anw, i think i shouldn't talk too much too. felt a bit out of place at first. luckily, i think the atmosphere got better as we went on. we were chatting and reminiscing those innocent primary school days. we did hi-7 dances, crazy rush of copying chinese notes, some teachers' special scolding phrases... really really miss those days. i'm hoping for another gathering soon. tianjun, dittaya, mor, chuling and i were hoping for one at sentosa. jiamin, chuling and i were hoping for chalet too (: hahas. we took several photos too. i'm so sorry sherlyn, i really forgot to take picture with her! omg. anw, the pictures are with aud, jy and mw. waiting for the photos to be uploadeed soon (: hahas, once uploaded, i'll be posting them on my blog (:

meanwhile, i'm really tired. i was awake for 20 hours from 5a.m. to 1a.m. this morning. i am really amazing. and i slept for 12 hours straight from 1a.m. this morning to 1p.m. this afternoon. i'm so so messed up. i need back my normal life!

i miss erjie. ):

.under-estimated.

family chalet jun 08 @ coasta downtown east

2008-06-13T13:51:00.005+08:00

i'm back from the chalet. really really tired. shall update as much as i can before i fall asleep.

day 1:
went for inno's rod (which was good), so i reached the chalet around 5 plus 6. called mummy a few times during my train journey. and i talked to ah boy too (because he was shouting "WHERE IS DAJIE?" non-stop while mummy was talking to me). ah boy ended my call with "DAJIE, CAN YOU COME QUICKLY?" hahas. met biaoge at pasir ris and he fetched me and his gf to downtown east. anw, by the time i reached the chalet, i missed the trip down to te beach. sad. i wanna go to the beach so badly and i missed it. yy was still having fever when i got there. erjie was still ok, but she was constantly blowing her nose. i was the one in my room who was so so high, when everybody else seemed a little sian. BBQ and steamboat started at 6.30pm. we were delayed because of a bee hive. some weirdos from the chalet management called in pest control to clear the bee hive, which was just diagonally behind our unit. forget about those satays and chicken wings, i know i will be able to lay my hands on them really soon and i focused on clearing the steamboat. three rounds of steamboat were prepared, and i only got to eat a small bowl. c'mon, it's just too little food. trust the hungry ghosts of my family to wipe food out in seconds. hahas. anw, gu ma brought me out to the food court to get some food and i happily camped at my private corner under the air conditioner to enjoy my set of fish soup and rice. yumms. we had cake to celebrate ah boy's birthday too. its a mickey mouse cake, really nice picture on the cake. it must have been evil to chop up baby mickey's head. aww~.
mummy, erjie, yy and msy started mahjong-ing all the way. goodness. i was playing with ah boy, so i didnt join them. biaoge came into the room later and complained that msy was starting to smell and mummy shooed him back to shower. later, guzhang and gujie joined the game, while i played lightsticks with ah boy. hahas. his creation was the wasp. ah boy was tired, but he refuesed to go to bed, because everyone else was wide awake. he went through the connecting doors to my room and said, "IT'S LATE. TIME TO SLEEP, ELSE YOU CANNOT GO TO WILD WILD WET TOMORROW!" hahahas. ok, i managed to convince him to sleep, when he asked, "DAJIE, IS IT OK IF I START TO SLEEP FIRST?" i told him that it was fine and that everybody else would follow suit after he sleeps first. and he kinda forced me to promise him that on the second night, i would start to sleep first. he asked if i would join him at wild wild wet on the second day, and i promised that i would join him if i were better. and he told me to get well soon. hahahas, he's just so so adorable. i was so afraid that i would fall asleep before he did. omg. that would not be nice. hahas.

day 2:
wild wild wet day. i really joined ah boy and all at wild wild wet. only mummy, daddy, erjie, yy, yeye and mama remained dry on the benches.
i went into the water in full black. omg. i was absorbing heat more than anyone else. we went for a ride round the river thingy. after that, shushu asked if anyone was interested in taking the viking ride thingy. it was crazy! when i was carrying the float up to the top with ngakei, omg, i was asking myself this, "what the hell am i doing?!". it really felt as though i was sending myself to the grave. the worse was yet to come. for this ride, two people have to sit facing each other. and one would have to back face down while the other would be looking down at the huge slide thing. when i was still trying to convince ngakei to let me take the seat facing down, the guy "in-charge" of the ride said, "the lighter one have to sit back facing." O.M.G. my heart literally sank. freak freak freak. "why the hell did i choose to come up here?!" anw, the float kinda got stuck at the top, (maybe because we were too heavy?) and the guy asked us to move our butts a little bit. ooooommmgggg... and he gave us a push...
the next thing i knew was that my heart was in my stomach and mouth at the same time. i was screaming my soul out! i kept on screaming and screaming, i think on lookers thought i was mad. really. when i could finally stop screaming, i asked ngakei why she didnt scream. hai. i guess i could only hear myself at that point of time. omg. anw, ngakei was complaining that my leg was hitting her the entire time during the ride. oops, sorry o.O
after that i followed gujie and guzhang to the playground. i went on a few slides with ah boy, yes, children slides, but it was fun! ah boy was particularly enthusiastic about the slide in which we could compete. hahas, he was so happy to see that he won.
after that we headed back "on-shore" for a drink. rested a while and resumed attacking the park.
we went for the skyrider, i paired with msy and the other with shenshen. we managed to experience the wave thing twice. and we ended the trip at the jacuzzi.
took a shower and started to play mahjong again. i guess i was really tired. i nearly fell asleep during the game. in the end, daddy took over while i tired to nap for a while. night came and it was bbq and steamboat.
we started packing our stuff for we had to check out quite early the next morning. continued watching devil's disciples and we managed to finish 10 episodes in less than 2 days! it's really a record for us.
mummy, erjie and yy went to sleep first, while i played for a while longer with ah boy. after a while, i realised that i couldn't take it anymore. said goodnight to ah boy and i hit the pillow at 12am sharp.

day 3:
woke up at 9am. my head was heavy and i had to pry open my eyelids. staggered into the bathroom to wash up and all. felt much better after that, and i helped to pack the rest of the stuff that were lying around. we left the room around 10.15am. shushu did the necessary check out stuff and we went to have branch at the food court. the bus came at 11.30am, and it took all of us back home. i fell asleep almost immediately after the bus moved off. i slept through the PIEs, KJEs and till we were 1 km away from the house. dead tired.

ocean was so happy to see all of us. he was good for the past 1 day, he didnt really make a big mess. this is a good thing. there is less work for us. everything has been unpacked.
daddy has gone for a run. mummy is busy doing the laundry. yy's asleep on the sofa. erjie is dancing away. i'm blogging.
gonna shower after this and try to help around before i nap for a while. heading back to shushu's house for dinner tonight. yeah!

about to win the battle against my cold, except for the fact that i'm still wrapping wantons once in a while (thanks gujie). hahas.

days of fun are over.
time to reminisce work, work and more work. not forgetting projects.

.under-estimated.

2008-06-10T21:07:00.002+08:00

antibiotics attached.

STEAM-ed satays.

STEAM-ed chicken wings.

STEAM-ed stingrays.

there's always something to look forward to.
especially when u're ill!

.under-estimated.

2008-06-10T20:45:00.003+08:00

i should be looking forward to the chalet. i should. i should. i really should.

at the rate i'm going now, i can't be at peace. omg. my nose is stuffy. my eyes are buldging. i feel a little sick, but i'm actually much better as compared to yesterday.

yy's fever is a come-and-go thing. but like, me, she's much better today. and so is erjie. both of them took a afternoon nap, while i hogg onto my lappy, trying to chiong bizca before chalet tmr. freak.
look at the amount of work pilling up. wp's reviews, assignments, plojects. not forgetting itl's research and test, math's mini project. blehhs, i dun wanna mention anymore. it's spoiling my mood, i need to think positive to stay healthy.

i'm a little tired. sad to say, i'm not ready for chalet. we're all not packed! wahahaha. i've got nothing to say. i hope to recover in time, i hate the idea of my satays, chicken wings, stingrays flying away. grrr.
anw, mummy came up with an idea that seems ingenious. look, wrap aluminium foil around satay (for instance) then leave it upon the wire mesh to heat up. pure thermal conduction. nothing BBQ-able. amazing. trust my mummy to be original and intelligent. STEAMed BBQ! yeah! it's a once in a lifetime thing.
i shall load my bag with all the tvb dvds, simply to entertain myself, erjie, yy and mummy. since we aren't going for the wild wild wet thing on thursday. freak. freak. freak.
i might be bored to the extend of wanting to do work at the chalet. for thursday is gonna be a long long day. hai. there goes the tickets! grrr. i wanna get on the waves and the slides! -.-"

ok, i shall blog when i come back. need to round up my bizca, pack my bag and decide if i'm going for inno's rod tmr.
anw, may my nosey blockage clear.

antibiotics attached!

.under-estimated.

2008-06-09T13:12:00.001+08:00

yesterday was sunday. today is monday. tomorrow is tuesday. tomorrow's tomorrow is wednesday. i can't wait for wednesday to arrive. gosh. it's chalet and wild wild wet!

there's just so much to look forward to.

however, obstacles kept coming. first, daddy fell ill about a week ago. then all of a sudden, erjie woke up this morning and complained of a sore throat. i woke up to find myself sneezing like nobody's business, i guess it was that sickening nose problem as usual. next, mummy felt that yy's forehead was warm. yy's fever shot up to 38.8degrees in the afternoon. hai. then i fell asleep on the sofa, while mummy slept with yy in the room. when mummy woke up, she complained that she wasn't feeling too well, but there was no particular symptoms like that of yy's and erjie's. anw, my throat didn't feel very normal in the afternoon. i don't know if my throat was "not too good" mentally or if it was really not good.

mummy brought erjie and yy to see doctor. and daddy still tries to cough and clear his throat loudly, without covering his mouth or taking any precaution. now i know why we are all falling ill.
vitamin Cs and all the chinese medicines seem useless. the green bean soup ain't helping either.

flu is really on its way. freak shit. i've never felt so shit before. darn. darn. darn.
maybe that's the plan. we might not be fated to go.

the mysteries of life.

.under-estimated.

kung fu panda!

2008-06-08T22:32:00.004+08:00

i love the shifu character! total master!
and here's the second on my list! -tigress
super swift movements, graceful! sleek!
Po-the panda. (stealing off almond chips from the top shelf.)
the crane. the only one with wings.

witty.

humorous.

it's all about believing and having faith in yourself.

.under-estimated.

2008-06-05T13:22:00.002+08:00

went to the world book fair at suntec yesterday. it's the most disappointing book fair that i've been to since... i've started vi sting the book fair annually. the book fair only covered the level 4 exhibition hall. there was an abundance of companies and booths selling children encyclopedias. anxious parents were at sitting at the tables listening to salesmen and saleswomen promoting their set of encyclopedia. however, this anxiety exists in two forms: one would be the typical worry for their young children's future, the other would be the anxiety to get away from the evil clutches of the sales personnel. for me, since i aren't a parent, i could simply walk away with ease, much to the displease of my mum. poor thing for her. these sales personnel still approached her to rope her into listening to their long-winded stories of the pros of their encyclopedia.

one thing i can't understand is that, who (in my family-who were present yesterday) would need the set of encyclopedia? c'mon, i've way past the age of needing the brightly-coloured books with so so many pictures and yet so little words. erjie? no way. does she even look like a primary school kid? yy? maybe, yea, she's the one amongst all of us who might seem to need those books. hahas.

another thing that puzzles me: why is there a need for encyclopedias, when the internet is everything? gosh. perhaps the young kids really need them for they still do not know anything about the internet.

anw, we got home around 6p.m. first time that we got home so early after visiting the book fair. wow. record-breaking. i helped with preparing dinner, much to the pleasure of mummy. hehes. it's been a long time since i've tired to wreck the kitchen. hahas.
dinner was good. stingray, some veg, sardine and soup!
i love home cooked food. omg.

i am so seriously suffering from SLOSS.
i dno why but just seem to enjoy sleeping recently. this is bad. is it exhaustion?

SLOSSing and SLOSSing.

.under-estimated.