under-estimated: August 2007

Saturday, 25 August 2007

Grad Nite. YES or NO?

Grad Nite.

Should I GO or NOT?

I'm just afraid of being ostracized again. Imagine everyone else is having fun, except for you. Not that I don't have any other friends. But almost everyone else has their own cliques, can't expect myself to just join in, can I? I might just be mistaken for wrecking up cliques again.

Will I be accepted or just be left out again for the nite?

Sigh.

.under-estimated.

Moth or Butterfly?

Is this a moth or a butterfly? \
So much worth a debate..

But the creator has stated that it's a moth.
But I thought it was a butterfly (since it's pink)
Haha.
Anyway, thanks dan!! =)

.under-estimated.

Lonely [part III] - thursday at school

The truth.
It was all unveiled in the toilet on Thursday.
I had to know the truth.
I had to find out if I had the right predictions.

Lie-detector results: NEGATIVE.
There was no need to lie to myself.
I was being ostracized.
I’m the extra one.
Yes.
Leave me out of everything.
Despite how hard I try, I’ll never be accepted into the group. I am mistaken for trying to fit into and wrecking their clique. Naïve.
Motto : Lonely. I’m so lonely. (bingo to dan ng.)

.under-estimated.

Lonely [part II] - that wednesday night at home

Me VS TV.

So all that had happened was hurting.

But nothing hurts more than losing out to the television.

I had so badly wanted to blog out my fate that night, but daddy told me not to waste my time. He suggested that I should talk it out with mummy that night.

Erjie pressed me for her physics marks, made me betray the trust. I gave in; it’s a no-win case when you try debating for your rights with erjie. Haha.

10.19pm++

I stood in front of the telly, looked at mummy, asked if she could sacrifice her tv program. She looked at me and asked if there was anything important. I could sense that mummy would rather watch tv than listen to me. The answer was obvious.

I got angry. Now I was secondary when compared to that television program. (so what if it’s the first episode?)

First, I was ostracized by my “friends”.
Now, I’m of lesser importance to the television.
What’s all this?!

Then came the long, cold war. I haven’t been talking to mummy since Wednesday night. I was angry, disappointed and sad. There’s nothing more I want to say to her, really.

真的很失望。

.under-estimated.

Lonely [part I] - that wednesday night at school

Ostracizes:

- When a group of people ostracizes someone, they refuse to talk to or do things with that person. / To avoid someone intentionally or to prevent them from taking part in the activities of a group. / To exclude, by general consent, from society, friendship, conversation, privileges, etc.

There are some things in life that we cannot ask for. What happens is often fated.

It was all self-explanatory for what happened on Wednesday.

4.30pm++

I kind of walked into my class guys when I walked out of 407. When the guys saw me, they immediately turned the other way, and I heard one of them saying, “Oh, need to go toilet.” Then again, when I stepped out of my class, all of them turned to run, but one of them told me, “TengTeng, we are going to hide now. You must come find us.”
I didn’t know why I did not bother to play along. My phone rang sometime later, they told me that they were on the way to central and asked if I wanted to join them. I had believed that they were making fun of me, but it was proven wrong when I saw the whole lot of them standing along the roadside. I was hesitant about joining them, who knows if they might run off, while I was on my way to meet them. I wasted nearly 10 minutes standing at the front gate, still pondering if I should meet up with them. They called again, this time; they said that there were 2 of them waiting for me at the back gate. I ran without all my might and was totally shocked when I saw 4 of them there waiting for me. Yes, indeed, I was touched. Whatever it was, they had waited. Then I felt guilty for my hesitance at school, making them wait even longer.

Dinner:

No one talked to me. I ate my way through in silence, not knowing why I was left out.

Back to school for night study.

The guys had decided that it was too crowded in the canteen and decided to study at back of the ecogarden. There were 14 of us in total. The 5 guys took a table, totally understood; they’re nearly stuck on each other. The 4 girls took another table, leaving me and another 4 of them. They simply filled another table, leaving me all alone. It was a lonely 1hour++. I had not expected this at all. Maybe I had expected too much, or I had not known how badly they did not want me around.

8.30pm++

Everyone packed hurriedly, fearing of being locked up in school. Some of the girls were lucky and had their parents to chauffer them home. How I wished that my parents could be there to ferry me home too. I tried to hitch a ride to central from teacher. Too bad that his car wasn’t big enough to ferry 5 people. I felt like a total idiot when the front passenger seat closed on me, while the others piled up backseat. No choice, I walked to central with the guys (and a girl), parting with 2 of them along the way. Along the way to central, there was dead silence along the way. Maybe it was because of me. NO ONE TALKED TO ME. They talked among themselves, simply ignoring me. Out of a sudden, 5 of them “accelerated”, leaving me behind, with on of the guys. I had no idea what was happening. But my sixth sense could tell. It was ostracism. If my predictions weren’t wrong, thanks for reducing the ostracism; (maybe he didn’t want to make me be left out totally.)

*no names are mentioned to protect the identity of the people involved, as they might be innocent.

.under-estimated.

Tuesday, 14 August 2007

Faeces for thought.

You will only be useful when people need you.

Else, you are just a display item sitting on the shelf. You are nothing. A piece of faeces?

I seriously don't enjoy my fate in class. It's horrible.

Because, people like me when I have potato chips. They ask me for my chips NICELY and WARMLY when they want to eat it.

What can I do when I seriously don't feel like giving my chips to them? Reject them bluntly?

What will be my fate tomorrow, when I don't have any chips?

Chips for thought.

.under-estimated.

Saturday, 11 August 2007

Nokia 6300

Congrats to Mummy!!
She'll get her new Nokia 6300 tomorrow at around 4-6pm!!
All thanks to ... me !!! Muahahaha..
cheers!!! :p

Tuesday, 7 August 2007