was talking to ah boy on the phone just now.he couldn't make out my voice at first. but when i said,:"i'm dajie..." he sounded elated. it seems like talking to a long lost friend (: realised how much i missed him and one thing to note : ah boy was super responsive on the phone! i asked if he did his work and if he listened to gujie. the answer was an immediate yes with unconditional assurance. hahas. he is really adorable. (:he was telling me about his friends in class and his partners. and he even asked me about my friends. *warm to the heart*but when he asked me,:"where are you, dajie.. are you at home? why didn't you come to my house?.." *pang of guilty* felt as though i've neglected him. hai. neglected my playmate.anws, i got ready a few surprises for ah boy. (: so maybe i'll just create a lucky draw for him to draw his prize. hahas. school has caused me to neglect my family. which i why i stayed home today with mummy instead of joining my gang at the library. sorry gals. ):sigh.i really really miss a boy..under-estimated.
THURSDAY & FRIDAY (24th, 25th Apr)last week was horrendous. i spent my thursday night rushing through my bizca video. i didn't sleep a single wink for the night. in the end, my dear friends fed back that i was "floating" as though i was on drugs and that i looked like a pale lifeless ghost. omg.SATURDAY (26th Apr)went to school to school for fencing intro course. turned up in some wakeboarding shorts and slippers. then caused myself to have a great problem with the "simple workout" and "exercises". i felt as though i nearly ripped my pants. crazy. skipped intro course halfway to attend strings. its the first step into realising my dream of playing a guitar. signed up for a tuesday slot with steph, lingli and huiling.went to tiong barhu plaza with lingli and huiling to hunt for my laptop case, but to no avail. in the end, i still didnt buy anything. the worse thing was: poor girls accompanied me around for nothing. i even caused their "town" trip to be cancelled. hai. what a friend i am.SUNDAY (27th Apr)sad sad day. similar stuff happened like last saturday. shall not mention at all ): i have to confess that i might be suffering from some slight psychological problems here. i don't know what. but its the trapped, depressed and dumb feeling. it came to the extend of thinking to try hurting myself directly and indirectly. i really don't know what was wrong. i told mum about this problem. it's not the first time this has happened to me. so, yes, i hope i'll stay mentally sound.MONDAY (28th Apr)nothing much. usual school and stuff. but was unexpectedly late for bizca for 5 minutes. i should have stepped out of house a little earlier. sad. the jam from clementi to np was horrid. nearly wanted to buy my laptop case, but i had no time for it at all. went for the ambassadors' "interview". it was so so council style. *winks*then enna was not feeling well, apparently she vomited. omg. realli, my dear friend, u shoulda go see a doc soon. met ms wong on the bus to bukit batok, chatted a a little while, really really love nh to bits. hahas. also realised the existence of a canal next to keming primary school.then haircut at yew tee, cost about $14. it's kinda ex, but apparently, mummy said the hairdresser did a good job. so yea, i'm satisfied. (: bought erjie and yy pens and sweets. gave each of them a good luck card, cos mid-year and SA1 are both around the corner. i miss secondary school life. ):TUESDAY (29th Apr) *apparently today*happy happy! attended the NYAA Award Ceremony! i miss the sai-kang warriors so much! it was really good to see them all. but the sad thing was that not the entire team was there ): anw, it was so weird seeing everyone in different uniforms. *nan hua exists in different uniforms yea?* chatted with cass, lijie and keming, remembering the times of shit-bombing and sabo-touching with dung. hahas. then was nick and siian who initiated the *pop-pop* thing with the scroll container. we are sure crazy people. (: i really really miss them alot. there was this contradiction: despite the fact that i miss them so much, i feel kinda leftout. and i still have bad memories of the trip till today. i didn't know how to "portray" myself in front of them. i'm afraid of being "extra" and "outcast" again. hai.took mrs. lim's car to the bus stop and took bus back to np. was complaining all the way of having to leave the warriors. nevertheless, guitar proved to be much more exciting. i was so anticipating to lay my hands on a guitar! hahas. by week 6, i should be able to play a song! (: i'm so going to take up guitar and make aure that it'll stay this way! (:hope to wake up on time tomorrow to join the gals at the library to mugg...i love the sk warriors..under-estimated.
I’m feeling so tired and so emo now. Too much has happened during the weekend, just too much for me to take and digest. I’m really going crazy.
I’m still not used to this poly life yet. Everything is in a mess. I’m like so wrecked up. There’re a few projects that came up, but all at one shot was a bit hard to catch and breathe through them. I decided that Eileen’s project should be done first, I mean, it’s just so not right to delay her stuff. I wanted to finish her project quickly, so that I could carry on with my own.
Blehhs. I didn’t even manage to survive through my own projects. I’m just so down with luck for the past two days. Dad just blared his way through yesterday afternoon. He was like bellowing the “word” away with all his might, as though he had been yearning for someone to scold that word with. It was so uncivilised and so “barbaric”. I really couldn’t stand it. I’m not angry or upset with the fact that he scolded me for “doing not-my-own project”. Anyway, he didn’t even give me a chance to explain. I’m just so disgusted to hear him use that word to “xxxx” all the way. Freak faeces. That was my limit. You scold me with that word; I’ll remember you for life on what you did. So please don’t blame me for the cold war in here. I’ve already said tons of times that “at-home” language should be different from “at-camp” language. I’m the daughter, not some lousy subordinates at camp. Dirty language, dirty mouth. I desperately want to wash my ears clean after his swearing session. Totally disgusted. If this ever happened on the streets, I would simply walk away from him and treat it as though I don’t know who he is. No way, swearing with such inhumane words is totally intolerable. Anyway, that word spoilt my entire Sunday. Look, defects of using so inappropriate language.
So there went my in-completed BIZCA project and my undone ITL tutorial and my hanging WP powerpoint.
Point to note: I’m still struggling with ITL. I don’t understand the weird termi-logies. The phrases and words that are used are really abstract. I don’t get it. Why isn’t there like any translation kind of thing? I’m not so smart after all. I can’t afford to lose out again in poly. But I really don’t know what I can do about this. There’s this phobia that is apparently still in me, with many thanks to the bad memories from the last 4 years. I still think I suck at school and that I’m at the bottom of the class already, even before the first exam is here or something. I miss sec sch life. Really lost and I find it a bit hard to catch all that I’m going through now.
I did something really wrong just now. I could say what I did was deliberate. But I was just so unwilling to talk to anyone at home, including Mum. It’s not her fault or anything, but I’m just disappointed with her. I don’t feel important at home sometimes. YY gets all the attention she wants or needs. She gets the privilege to hurt me with words in which I sometimes try to warn her not to. But even when things get out of hand, and I try to related the message to Mum and Dad, all they do is to kind of like tell YY something like “try not to do that again”. It sounds exactly like some normal conversation. Nothing of the sort like a warning or a stern feedback. I’m fed up and I find it really not fair. Does it really mean that the youngest can always get away with all these? I know that I’ve quite a bit of characteristics that are “great for discussion”, but this is just not the way. Sometimes it gets really a bit too crude and it’s out of my limit. Grr...
Everything is in a mess right now. I’m going haywire.
Really.
I drive me nuts.
.under-estimated.
“Stay away from that word when you are near me.”
right. school has finally started. and i'm being exposed to this really new kind of environment. gosh. day 1 was atrocious. being the first day at school, everything was so unfamiliar and apparently superbly huge. it was a disaster trying to find my way around this enormous campus. the worst thing of all was that there wasn't enough time for me (as in us) to visit the cca fiesta! so what if the fiesta was held consecutively for the whole of 2 days? the unlucky us had lessons on both days, with no extra time to even visit the booths -.- terribly disappointing. lessons were a pleasure on day 1, for that everything was new, and there was an urge to keep awake the whole day to know more about each module and what else i would be learning. but the worst thing of all was the promise of bizca, that was broken within minutes after it was made. the lecturer kinda promised that there would be no additional assignments (a.k.a homework) for the first week. great! (the class heaved a sigh of relief.) who knows, just as this was made, lecturer had us to stand in a circle (in the order of our birthdays). that was done in minutes. later, the class was to get into groups of 4s (with a mixture of guys and girls), so stephanny and i joined larry and junwei (if i didn't get his name wrong, if i did, i'm really really sorry.) then the climax was: to get into our groups and discuss on the topic on learners. no big deal about that. afterwards, lecturer told the class to be a bit more serious about this discussion thing, because we were supposed to do a video (using moivemaker) to present the answer to our discussion. gosh! look! groupwork! yikes!ITL also had projects assigned. haha. so had math. it's some project on graphs. haha. spare me the agony man. gosh. tons of project flowing in all at once.day 2 was relatively tiring. it was crazy. i was marked late for the first lesson, because i arrived at 8:06am. 6 minutes was all it took for a "L". yes, to mention, the hardest thing to juggle with is actually the time to arrive for lesson. for instance, ITL is right after BIZCA, which means that there is logically no time at all for me to move from one block to the other. if that's the case, shouldn't something be done? like say give an allowance of 5 - 10mins? or let lessons be allocated at the same block on a certain day? things like such should be reasonable. i mean, yea, i'm used to "following rules" and i've been instilled with the sense of responsibility, sense of shame, sense of integrity and most importantly the sense of righteousness. i really dun enjoy the idea of being so "inflexible" with rules. even things like "stomachache" cannot be used as an excuse for being late for class, isn't this a little not fair? what about ladies' problems? can they be used as an excuse? shouldn't each individual student or each individual case be dealt with differently? uhh.. maybe some improvements can be made. the school perhaps should always remember that the campus is huge and time is needed to travel from one block to the other.anyways, during ITL prac, was appointed the assitant class rep. (thanks to stephanny -.-) haha. class advisor was pretty nice. (btw, she looked like a mixture between gu ma and cass' mum! omg. the upper portion of the face was like a photocopy of cass' mum's! but the rest was a photocopy of gu ma - except for the hair and specs.!) omg. i'm still in shock man. haha. maybe i shouldn't have said anything about steph being the class rep lo. oops. apologies to ting li, really really didnt mean what i said when we were at blk 18. i was just joking and playing around la, shall not say that to her again. hai. so sorries.collected ez-link card and soe shirt. the shirt is not too nice, cos the material used to make the shirt is a little "translucent". a near-see-through thing. i prefer last year's black and orange shirt. haha. signed up for tennis, badminton and fencing with steph. we are considering strings too, but have yet to contact the cca yet. guitar would be fun to learn (:had web publishing lesson. nearly fell asleep. maybe because i'm not too interested in designing my own web page and i totally feel that i won't ever be creating my own website (in the near future, maybe except for the need to change my blog or something.) but the best part was that almost the entire class was on msn. i didn't go on msn, for my tablet was lagging. duh.last lesson was math again. spent an hour on tutorial (with the failed attempt of question 3. sad. sad. sad.) then the other hour was to try install scientific notebook 5.5. it was hard to do, cos had to change the settings and blah. blehhs. wasted my one hour. could have used that time to get home -.-i still feel uncomfortable with spending such long hours in school. i'm still very used to staying at home with mummy. feel a little lost without her by my side 24/7. daddy said i kinda like a big baby piggy, who clings onto my mummy piggy. duhhs. thanks alot daddy. i think daddy said what was in my mind. on this note, i love wednesdays and thurdays and fridays! i only spend like 3 - 4 hours (daily) in school on these days! yippeee!haha.tomorrow morning reporting for work at 6.00a.m. gosh. i better go to bed.school, love it. hate it.zzz...under-estimated.
sch starts tomorrow! yikes! i'm so not ready, haha.lots of stuff is gonna happen. there's this cca fiesta thingy.might just wanna join NPstrings or MDES or NP ambassadors or outward bounders or badminton or cycling or...... there are just so so so many choices! must decide carefully le.then there is this foreign language thing. i really can't accept the fact that Mandarin is considered a foreign language. omg. imagine calling my own mother tongue "foreign". totally ridiculous. really cannot accept.anws, i had a great day at working at MS. lee min's shop yesterday. (going to do a bit of free advertising here.) ok. MS. lee min's shop is called Skin Revival, mainly doing express facials and "care-for-your-face stuff. its located at 49B Kreta Ayer Road (S) 089007 (somewhere in chinatown, diagonally across oriental plaza), opens daily from mondays to saturdays, 11am to 7pm. hav to call 6 323 0823 or email sales@skinrevival.com.sg to make an appointment. simply log on to www.skinrevival.com.sg for more details! haha.told lady boss if need she needs help in future, can just sms me or sos me. haha. i'll be there to help her if i'm free. i love my lady boss (and vera and brenda) man. they're really nice to me (thnks to brenda for saying that i look much younger than 17, lol) but the best part was knocking into each other along the dark passage way (to the kitchen) haha, spilled some tea in the process. its really funny. then my lady boss praise me for the great coordination that i have with my legs (using legs to push and kick open doors, it was really silly of me thou.). really looking forward to the next helpout session (if any) it was so much fun! haha. many thanks again to the 3 lovely ladies!haha.good lucks to me for sch tomorrow!i'll miss looking after dear ah boy...under-estimated.
shoulder pad mission accomplished! yes! this sexy thing cost 26 bucks. omg.went out with eileen today (to raffles and then to marina sq.) went with her to buy a crumpler bag for her bro. haha. this big sis is super rich sia. (also bought my shoulder pad, while we were there.)visited gu ma at robinsons. chatted for a while, only to know that biao ge is super stressed with exams. wish him good luck and all the best. so gu ma wont be coming down for this week and next week. sad. headed to marina sq's mac to do project. the part on reading for information was definitely challenging. but at least, i knew more about politics in malaysia (it's really fun thou.) the best part was the battery life of my laptop. pretty amazing. fully charged battery barely lasted me for 2 hours! omg. i seriously don't know what went so so wrong.anw, left mac around 6 plus, walked back to raffles and tried to locate the washroom (luckily we found one rather quickly.) after the washroom trip, it was home sweet home. it was quite a parting at the mrt. i took train down to boon lay, while eileen took train back to the east. "one to the east, one to the west." exactly like what we always get to watch on tv dramas. haha. but it doesn't seem nice thou. having no one to talk with on the long journey home is rather boring and makes one feel lifeless. i only had music for company for the entire journey.oh, there's something else to mention. i'm going to "work" at "aunty"lee min's shop tomorrow! whee.. it's gonna be a real experience. firstly, i have never really explored chinatown (sobbs. and i still call myself a chinese.) secondly, going to somewhere, where i've never been to, to buy lunch. it's really going to be something so so cool. but the weirdest thing is that, i might even get a free ride to "work" ! (proudly sponsored by "aunty"lee min's mum) haha. i'm going to wake up extra early tomorrow morning, maybe around 7.45? cos i've decided to leave house at 8.30. so it's like guaranteed no-late thing. haha.meanwhile, i desperatly need to brainwash myself with te fact that "i can read maps!" and that "i'm not gong!" haha. must always look on the happier side!right. got to go, need to prepare for "work" tomorrow.haha.this is no joke man. i can't believe it. having a "job", when school starts in two days' time!wow..under-estimated.
MDE's camp is due on wed. i'm so not ready. omg. firstly, i've not packed thoroughly. secondly, i'm not mentally prepared for this camp. thirdly, my specs has got sliding nose pads. lastly, my hair is so UNKEMPT.i still don't quite enjoy the thought about staying overnight at a place with no one i'm familiar with. i really don't know how i'm going to survive the camp without my mobile. (i'm not saying that my mobile is repaired. but my music files inside are simply good enough to keep me company.) i might just bring along my phone charger.i'm worried about the mud, flour and stuff. i hope my sinus problem won't relapse. imagine, just a bit of flour to cause a series on non-stop-sneezing. omg. i don't want to think about that.i don't know what attire to report in for the camp and whether my shoes or slippers would get dirty or not during the games. no one said anything. sigh. maybe they should have stated on the camp list, at least i know if i should bring my better pair of shoes and slippers. i'm like so lost -.-wish eileen good luck for her GP project. i know it's hard. but at least i've tried to guide u along le, girl. so meanwhile u just hang in there while i'm gone for the camp. (hai. we've been calling off our last two meetings due to last minute stuff. sian. must make an effort to meet up ar!)working hard on my inno logo. it's not easy. it has got to be not-so-complicated, pretty, sexy, cute, GAY and most importantly, portray the club's characteristics -.- i'm chiong-ing hard now. must submit ASAP.woah.yawns. tmr waking up early!.under-estimated.
came across something interesting. not all might find it relevant thou.
look:
i've got nothing more to say...
.under-estimated.
