Monday, 23 June 2008

after working late into the night and wrapping up the last bits during bizca today, itl project is finally done and completed. (but dno if it was done correctly-gosh!).

omg.

my legs turn jelly whenever i hear that the results for math common test is gonna be shown during tutorial tmr. i feel as though my soul is leaving me. my hands feel weightless, and my heart... i cant feel my heart. its hollow in there.

omg.

i was having a real bad headache in class today (during math lecture). maybe it was because the lecture was 3 hours long, maybe the air-con wasnt cold enough, or maybe i was plain tired (cos i slept at 2a.m. to finish itl project).

but i guess the main reason is actually the itl class test that is supposed to be held tmr during itl tutorial (1st two periods). my soul was really finding its way out of my body, when the thought of studying for itl, the thought of sitting through the itl test with a blank mind, the thought of flung-ing the itl test and the thought of facing my parents started surfacing outta my brilliant mind.

the most amazing thing that i did today, was to call up the itl lecturer to ask him about the itl test. lingli, steph, nadiah, teeli were standing next to me when i made the phone call. it was hilarious. omg. the guy on the phone just didnt sound like the itl lecturer! it sounded much better than the voice that we always hear during itl. hahas. anw, the lecturer was nice, kind, generous enough to postpone the test till next week! (3 cheers!!!)
guess what. after that phone call was made, i started to feel lesser and lesser tension at my brain. the headache was slowly fading away. (phew. i told u, tests could easily bring me so much harm.)
however, tutorial tmr morning would be as usual. then there would be a 3-hr break, followed by wp (yea!!! i missed the adorable lessons!!!), and lastly math.

i can predict math tutorial tmr. its gonna be like dementors surfaced from the harry potter series, to suck away all my happiness. it's worse than being dead. i would rather die than receive the results, really. one thing to be happy about, is that math are the last lesson of the day, at least it wouldnt spoil my day.
if my math results are gonna be sucky and yucky (which is super likely), the only thing that would probably go wrong is that i cant play the guitar properly during guitar tmr evening. or worse, i might just go home straight after math and sleep away the disappointing unhappiness.

i still frett about results.
its bad.
its phobias of the past.


.under-estimated.

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